A deep dive into all the men RHOBH’s Erika Jayne has dated over the years
She's keen to keep her current romance as private as possible
Erika Jayne’s love life has always been a little bit “Pretty Mess.” It’s giving glamorous on the outside, complicated underneath, and (lately) way more private than we’re used to.
Since joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we’ve watched her navigate marriage, scandal, divorce drama and the awkward reality of trying to date when half the internet has an opinion.
And now? She’s giving just enough to keep us intrigued, including what she actually wants in a man these days. She’s after someone confident, intelligent, and, most importantly, calming.
So, who’s been in Erika’s romantic orbit over the years? Let’s get into it.
Erika’s dating past explored
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Before the diamonds and designer confessional looks, Erika was living in New York, and she was married once before Tom Girardi.
She wed Thomas Zizzo, and they share a son, Tommy. Erika has spoken about being a single mother after they split in 1996, and Bravo has noted she raised Tommy after their divorce, reports Bravo.
Fast-forward to her RHOBH era, and Erika hasn’t had a long list of public, confirmed relationships, but she has had some ‘moments’, let’s say.
There were rumours and online chatter linking her to actor Armie Hammer after alleged DMs circulated years back, and Erika later addressed that there was messaging, but it didn’t turn into a real-life romance, per Reality Blurb.
More recently, PEOPLE reported she “hooked up” with Summer House’s Jesse Solomon after a Watch What Happens Live appearance, but that was attributed to an unnamed source, and it’s not something Erika has publicly confirmed as a relationship.
She was married for two decades
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Erika’s most significant relationship, of course, was with powerhouse attorney Tom Girardi. The two married in 2000, and their age gap plus ultra-luxe lifestyle became part of Erika’s mystique on RHOBH, private planes, glam squads, and that “expensive to be me” energy.
In November 2020, Erika filed for divorce, and almost immediately, their split became inseparable from the legal firestorm surrounding Girardi and his firm. PEOPLE’s timeline notes she filed on November 3, 2020.
Erika has been careful with how she talks about that marriage now. She’s acknowledged she was married to someone “really good at their job,” per Us Weekly, but that it ended “in a really bad way,” which is basically the most Erika-coded understatement imaginable.
Now, Erika is dating John ‘Shrek’ McPhee
Okay, present day! Erika is officially in her soft life dating era with John “Shrek” McPhee, and the vibe is noticeably different from her past.
She’s described him as “a normal, regular person” who doesn’t live in Los Angeles, and she’s been super clear that what she wants now is peace. She was after someone who made her feel “calm,” “comfortable,” and grounded.
The romance popped into public view after paparazzi caught them holding hands, and Erika later addressed it on her podcast, saying he’s “a nice man” and that she feels comfortable with him, even if she didn’t plan for it to become a whole thing!
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