Patrick Maguire
Former Editor, The Tab London
I used to edit the Tab London with Gabriel Pogrund, and now I write a column.

Lazy housemates will always be better than uptight ones

Please stop putting post-it notes on my leftovers

The most irritating things about going to a restaurant

Yes, everything is alright with my food thanks

Long-haul flights are the worst thing in the world

Tell me again why I can’t listen to my iPod during take-off

Every person you’ll try and sleep with at home this Christmas

Get the Coronas in

UCL’s internet is down after a cyber attack

At least you’ve got an excuse not to do your essay

How are people still falling for the fake hysteria about renting in London?

Of course nobody’s going to rent a tent in a living room

If you believe the QS employability rankings, you’re off the charts deluded

It’s still only a 2:1 from Aston mate

The debate with George Galloway has been cancelled

What an anticlimax

GQ’s dictionary of modern slang is a monument to lame white men

It thinks you need to be told what ‘bae’ and ‘squad’ mean

Clubbing in London is a soul-destroying ordeal

Where dreams go to die

UCL likely to have ‘broken the law’ during rent strike

They told protesters they could be prevented from graduating

If the police want to be taken seriously, they need to stop the cringe Twitter jokes

It’s helping nobody

The cute-ification of uni is becoming unbearable

Higher education is collapsing while you’re at the petting zoo

UCL ranked 21st in the world by yet another league table

Does anyone still care about these?

Posh boys should feel guilty about a lot of things but listening to dubstep isn’t one of them

It’s time to welcome the Skepta-loving rich list in from the cold

Banning sombreros? As long as SUs keep picking these fights, they’ll be ridiculed

Patrick Maguire on why a Mexican hat isn’t racist

Yes, top-knots are ridiculous but banning them from campus is bizarre

A Mormon-run uni in America has deemed the man bun an ‘extreme hairstyle’

If police are going to start drug testing clubbers, we may as well all stay at home

Itemisers and sniffer dogs are the latest weapons in the war on fun

Mass fraud allegations hit Union election winners

Asad Khan had votes deducted but still won

Ex-Phineas quizmaster released without charge after taking on the EDL

The UCLU sabb officer was arrested in the West Midlands on Saturday

Is this the hardest working second year at UCL?

Read Thines Ganeshamoorthy’s incredible story

UCLU held a referendum and only 98 people cared

7,500 students will no longer have a full-time union rep

UCLU to keep ban for the tabloid they never sold

The Sun won’t come out in campus shops…even without the nipples

What’s happening to London nightlife? Plastic People has shut forever

It’s game over for Shoreditch’s finest

Reprieve for liberation officers as reforms defeated at chaotic union meeting

Meeting adjourned after Proposal 3 fails to pass despite winning a 56% majority

UCL accused of staff sex abuse ‘cover up’

University closes sexual harassment exhibition

Provost left red-faced by Fossil Free die-in

Fossil Free UCL have stepped up their campaign…watch them mess up Michael Arthur’s commute

Women’s Officer could be axed under proposals from 26 societies

Full time BME officer would also go under revolutionary proposals

UKIP backed free education demo when NUS didn’t

Which side are you on?

Proud threatened with closure as club boss lashes out at council killjoys

He’s also sick of you “rich little babies” having your phones robbed

BREAKING: Protesters gather ahead of controversial Israeli ambassador visit

UCLU Friends of Palestine gather in college buildings on Bedford Way in a demonstration against Daniel Taub

UCLU want you to bunk off on Wednesdays

The Union Council last night resolved to let you skive if your lectures clash with societies or sport

Union outcry as UCL hosts conference for group accused of sexism and Islamophobia

The controversial Alliance for Workers’ Liberty will be on campus this weekend

Confusion as ‘scab ULU’ remove Holocaust memorial plaque without explanation

Students recently noticed its disappearance

UCLU offer support to NUS officer who opposed anti-ISIS motion

The Birmingham student received racist and misogynistic abuse, as well as death threats

Apathy wins autumn elections as 94 per cent of you don’t bother voting

That’s over 27,000

Union reprimand Culture Club candidates after email howler breaks election rules

Drama Soc promoted Culture Club bloc on its email circular

‘And it was all Bello’: Watch the only good thing to come out of #Bellogate

Come for the puns, stay for the knitwear

Bello-par uni management under fire as email fiasco rumbles on

Bungling bosses issue one-sentence text apology as UCLU turn up the heat

‘Fascists’ reappear on campus after union ban overturned

Controversial Nietzsche Club launches new publicity campaign

Sunday Times slams quality of student life at UCL

Union denounces poor welfare provision and cash-hungry admissions scheme

The Tab guide to thinking for yourself this Freshers’ Week

Why does anyone think this is necessary?

UCL’s rip-off rent is the priciest in the country

Uni shamed by HSBC as most expensive place to study in the UK

Iconic night at Moonies moving to The Borderline

Incoming freshers upgrading from Soho’s legendary carpeted sleaze pit

Fascists on campus: ‘Far-right’ Nietzsche Club banned by UCLU

Controversial student society banned for promoting fascism and racism on campus

UCL Engineering to waive fees for female masters students

Uni commit to offer free postgrad study to female engineers

Review: The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen’s Guild Dramatic Society’s Production of Macbeth

Classy performances rescue UCLU Drama’s production of a cheap, unimaginative play, writes Patrick Maguire

Oh water night! Mixed bag for UCLU Water Polo in Varsity Showdown

UCLU Women’s secure narrow victory over King’s as Men’s squad lose out

Review: Hair

Patrick Maguire enjoys a good, albeit inconsistent, trip with UCLU Musical Theatre Society’s hippy brotherhood

Why ignore the elections? UCLU is for everyone

UCLU means a lot more than paninis and cheap pints, and not voting shouldn’t be an option.

Review: UCLU Drama Society presents ‘The Bald Soprano’

Patrick Maguire is enamoured with the bald ambition of UCLU Drama’s latest production, a nuanced and entertaining piece of absurdism

Review: Clouds

Patrick Maguire was on cloud nine with the latest Greek Play

Review: The Blank Slates present ‘Firing Blanks’

Patrick Maguire finds UCLU’s new improv show wanting

Who’s Even Listening To George Galloway Anymore?

Students seem to be the only audience the MP has left

Student Shitty: Why London isn’t 2nd In The World

London isn’t great for students, despite what we’re always told. Should’ve just gone to Leeds.

Review: The Wild Party

In between all the gin fizzes and flapper dresses, Patrick Maguire finds a solid production