Here’s your college, your Christmas song

Christmas songs can be weirdly controversial. It really does seem like you either love them or you hate them. Personally, I’m fully in the first camp. Are there only like four or five actually good ones? Yes. Does that matter? No. In much the same way, the many colleges of Durham can often be quite controversial. Everyone has their biases, even if we all know that deep down, there are some colleges that are simply better than others.  

What to do with these two controversial but entirely unrelated things? Mash them together, obviously. I’m going to walk you through my picks for which Christmas song best fits each Durham college. And no, I won’t be taking criticism. Merry Christmas.  

Aidan’s- Step into Christmas   

There couldn’t have been any other option for Aidan’s. What are there loads of on the way up to Aidan’s? Steps. But that’s not all. Of course the Rainbow College should have a song by Elton John! It just fits so perfectly. Admittedly I haven’t actually spent much time at Aidan’s. Now that I associate it with this song though, I might have to. Can’t go wrong with a bit of Elton. You’re welcome, Aidan’s. 

Castle- Fairy-tale of New York 

What’s more fairytale than a castle? It’s fitting for the college with one of the coolest bars to have a song perfect for singing while drunk in a pub. This is also a very iconic Christmas song which basically everyone likes. That might not be entirely true of Castle. However, it does have the distinction of being the first college. For that reason, it should probably have a song as iconic as Fairy-tale of New York. 

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Chad’s- Underneath The Tree 

Is this just because of the tree outside of Chad’s? Actually, no. Quite a few Christmas songs talk about trees, obviously. But this song is also a love song, and Chad’s is the only college to do weddings. For that reason, Chad’s will always be associated with romance in my mind. Maybe Mariah Carey would have been a good choice for Chad’s because of that. But because of the tree, and because this song is better, Chad’s gets Underneath the Tree instead. 

Collingwood- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

Oh deer. The list of reasons why Collingwood and Rudolph go together is frankly stag-gering. If there was one college that would want to join in all the reindeer games, it’s Collingwood. They’re even the same colour, and you know Collingwood would be more than red-y to guide a sleigh tonight.  

Cuth’s- Last Christmas 

The best college should have the best song. It’s that simple. I know that whenever I speak to someone from Cuth’s, I always think wham! Because I’m suddenly struck by how cool and fun they are. For a college defined by independence, of course the band behind Freedom is appropriate. There, I justified that decision in a completely unbiased way.  

Grey- White Christmas 

Grey obviously has a reputation for being boring. I’m sure a lot of people would say the same about this song. However, I disagree. What really connects these two together is a sense of reliability. You know what you’re gonna get, unlike a box of chocolates (particularly Quality Streets considering it’s the festive season). Also, white and grey are almost the same colour.  

Hatfield- In Dulci Jubilo 

You’ll be forgiven if you have no clue what this song is. I didn’t either. But when I heard it, I knew it was perfect for Hatfield. Latin title? Check. Based on an old traditional carol? Check. Much like Hatfield in general, if this song is playing, it’s difficult to ignore. Give it a listen and tell me it doesn’t make you think of Hatfield.  

Johns- Silent Night 

For some reason, John’s is the college most associated with religion. Not really sure why since half of the colleges are named after saints. Still, with that reputation in mind, John’s needed a hymn. Any of them could really fit here, but this is definitely the most popular. I do feel slightly bad giving John’s a song that nobody really listens to outside of school nativities. It’s a shame there aren’t any hymns about cool underground bars. That I know of. 

John Snow- Let it Snow! 

Well, this one’s fairly obvious. There are a lot of Christmas songs about snow (wonder why) so there were a few options. Nothing screams snow more than a song whose title is literally shouting the word snow. An honourable mention does have to go to Winter Wonderland though. There’s nothing more winter than John Snow, as far as I’m concerned. 

JoBo- Sleigh Ride 

Speaking of snow, what’s better for a hilltop college than a sleigh ride? JoBo actually gets double points for this. Not only is it at the top of the hill, but it also has a smaller hill next to it! Just need to see someone ride a sleigh down the mound and onto the hill in one go now (Don’t try this at home, kids). 

Mary’s- Mary’s Boy Child 

I imagine you can work out why I picked this one. Obviously, it’s because of the irony of a formerly women’s-only college having a song with ‘boy’ in the title. No other reason at all.  

Hild Bede- Lonely This Christmas 

Sorry for the depressing pick Hild Bede. Unfortunately, until someone writes a Christmas song about rumoured asbestos, this will have to do. Not on the Bailey. Not on the Hill. Both old and new Hild Bede really are just on their own.  

South- Merry Christmas  

South obviously needed a new, modern song. This incredibly generically named song is actually younger than South! This is the one by Ed Sheeran and Elton John by the way. I’ve never met anyone who has this as their favourite. Unfortunately, I think the same is also true for South. They both have the same problem- too modern and lacking in much to really set them apart. Maybe one day, South will make a proper name for itself. Also, genuine question, is anyone’s favourite Christmas song one made in the last decade? 

Stevo- Driving Home For Christmas 

Somehow, there were actually multiple train-adjacent Christmas songs I could have picked. I’ve never watched Polar Express, but I imagine the entire soundtrack would fit here. Instead, I went for a song about driving. You can drive a train, right? I Chris Rea-lly hope so, otherwise this connection makes absolutely no sense. 

Trevs- Jingle Bell Rock 

Unfortunately, there aren’t many Christmas bangers about hexagons. Huge missed opportunity if you ask me. Anyway, what else do Trevs have? Well, their crest has a horse. When I think Christmas and horses, my mind goes to one really random line in this song. What is a ‘jingle horse’? Apart from horses and hexagons, Trevs is also a very artistic and musical college. Because of that, I’m sure the students of Trevs are big fans of rock. That should include jingle bell rock, hopefully. 

Van Mildert- 12 Days of Christmas 

A similar issue to Trevs, nobody seems to write Christmas songs about lakes or ducks. Thankfully, 12 Days of Christmas has a weird number of birds in it. Geese a-laying and swans a-swimming are close enough to ducks, right? Lucky for Mildert that their strange pride in waterfowl is ideal for this song.  

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