Ranking all the new JoJo Siwa EP songs by how much they make me wanna chop my ears off

When JoJo Siwa dropped Karma earlier this year, a pop culture juggernaut was birthed for better or for worse. Karma is kind of in that so bad it’s good canon where you hate it but can’t resist it. Couple the divisive nature of JoJo Siwa with a huge drama surrounding the original demo of the song and the original artist Brit Smith releasing her own version to capitalise on the viral of it all. Well, now the full JoJo Siwa EP is here – the inventor of gay pop has returned full throttle with five songs. But how bad are they? Did she kind of slay? Here’s a ranking of all the songs on the new JoJo Siwa Guilty Pleasure EP – ranked by how much they want me to chop my ears off.

5. Guilty Pleasure

Guys… Dare I say it. And I can’t believe I’m typing these words, but… This song is… good. It’s good. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent my morning despairing at how bad the new Katy Perry song is this is kind of going hard. Song of the summer!!!

4. Balance Baby

Again… a fucking gain. Another little nibble on the teet of greatness from JoJo Siwa here who has channelled a bit of a pop banger in her element. Why she didn’t choose to release either of these two little electro pop rammers before the cringe of Karma is beyond me to be honest. I’m bopping. Not bad at all.

3. Choose UR Fighter

Most Read

The heartbreaking reason behind Tulisa’s transformation and why she looks so different now

Emma reveals where she and Caspar are now and lots has changed since the MAFS UK reunion

Lacey and Nathan embroiled in nasty feud following ‘bitter rows’ after MAFS UK split

This little trio of bangers? What’s happening here? Is JoJo Siwa a main pop girl? Is there even any point in me writing an article about chopping my ears off when ranking the JoJo Siwa EP because it looks to me that my ears will remain thriving and unsevered. I love silly pop music and this isn’t even that silly! It’s on the cusp of slay!

2. Karma

Yeah this one still stinks. The vocals are in dire straits. She sounds strained beyond belief, poor cow. The wig is modestly tugged when she does the “Felt the knife twist” bit. Hits my ear just right. But the rest of it is pure hell, although it is a hugely viral moment and when I was blessed enough to witness it live at Mighty Hoopla in June it was kind of iconic.

1. Yesterday’s Tomorrow’s Today

No clue what’s going on with the title of this song, but two things I know to be true. The first is that JoJo really wanted to go for it with her vocals on this one. She’s channeling Celine Dion. Like, she’s belting her tits off. Fair play. That being said, all the effort put into the vocals is one thing. But that is not to denounce the second thing I know to be true. This is bloody awful. Like the song you get forced to endure at your sister’s amateur dramatics show where the composer has done some original songs. It’s got a haunting medieval quality to it. Hate it. Just chopped my ears off.

For all the latest TV and entertainment news and gossip , like Pop Culture Shrine on Facebook.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• All of JoJo Siwa’s wildest Dance Moms moments we totally forgot about

• Inside the crazy evolution of JoJo Siwa and her transformation through the years

• LGBTQ+ music stars are dragging JoJo Siwa for saying she wants to invent a ‘gay pop’ genre