Confessions of a true Topshop-aholic

Give me Joni or give me death

The temptation of that fresh student loan and a two hour break before your next lecture. You see the aesthetically pleasing Sans Sherif font present itself to your eyeballs from the high street, calling your name, luring you in.



My general quality of life has improved since I got my new leopard print coat. However, keeping the label on offers that security if I really have no money to buy food we will have to dramatically and unfairly part ways.



Is there anything better than coming home to the white and black polka-dot packaging of a Topshop delivery after a long day at uni? The answer is no. There is not.


Since being at university I have heard the phrase “Topshop is just so overpriced,” far too much for my liking. Allow Topshop into your life and it will statically improve by 100%.

I cannot bring myself to say it is overpriced because I believe you pay for the quality you get. I personally would not buy £8 jersey vests from Topshop when I get them from Primark for £1.50, but thats just common sense.

You have to be tactile with Topshop buys, you need those statement £32 trousers paired with a £8 top from Poo Look. It makes sense.

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Even their make up is the best

After crying at the price tag, the 10% student discount has to be accounted for purely to ease the pain and suffering of the beating your bank account is about to undertake. I have dyscalculia (where you can’t read numbers) but Topshop has taught me to work out 10% off something in a speed that could possibly become viral on YouTube.


They offer such a wide range of the shade green

Yes, Topshop is on the pricier side, but so is life. I can fit into the size eight skirt because they didn’t have it in my size and I needed it then. Therefore, I can’t afford a food shop so at least I’m getting slimmer.

When I can’t pay my electric bill at least my new metallic cami looks cool in the dark. I’m a student, and I’m only going to be in debt probably my entire life, so why can’t I get used to being poor now?


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One colour is not enough

I have attempted to shop in other places, mostly when I’m beyond fed up that my £38 black Joni jeans have turned grey after a week and have gone weirdly saggy. I’ve tried shopping in New Look, Primark and H&M, but Topshop shits all over them. They are all the sideman versions of Topshop, and only copy Topshop anyway.

They even offer VIP unlimited next day delivery to its loyal customers, ASOS make you pay for that, they don’t even appreciate their customers like Topshop do. This is ideal when you want to order 10 items, but return nine of them. Not ideal when you have to wait three to five days for that £172 refund.

The order number is probably the amount of things I’ve purchased from Topshop

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If you are obsessed with Topshop you develop a kind of sixth sense for it, you see a girl in the toilets on a night out you know instantly they have their bardot top this week because it was on the new in on the website on Wednesday.

It is your home page and you check their new in everyday. On Sunday’s and Monday’s their website doesn’t get updated and this usually resorts to sitting in a dark room and crying and shaking until Tuesday.


Do I need this hat for £32? Or do I need to pay my phone bill?

A good day for me will be determined on whether I have been to a Topshop that day or not. My evenings are spent reflecting on a piece of clothing I’ve seen on the website three days prior, that I cannot stop thinking about until I physically own it.

My mantra is “we only regret the things we didn’t buy,” student loans are probably going to be the only time in our lives we have indispensable income, which is why you should buy those shoes from Topshop right now.

The Tab Portsmouth