Edi math: 10 ways you can use girl math in Edinburgh

TikTok can claim otherwise, but the girl math phenomenon of justifying questionable decisions with even more questionable arithmetic, is in fact an age-old practice. 

Call it what you want – girl math, boy math – we’re all just trying to balance limited time and money with squeezing the absolute most out of our uni lives.

In that spirit, here’s 10 entirely logical and absolutely acceptable examples of how you can (and should) implement girl math into your Edinburgh uni experience. You’re welcome.

1. Buying a coffee on campus costs money, but if it’s bought in a location you intend to study in, it’s free

Also, not paying for a coffee for any reason, whether it’s a fully stamped loyalty card or your name being on the window of the café, is like making money.

2. Using a Clubcard makes you a money saving hero

Even if it means you go to Tesco instead of Lidl.

3. A student discount means you’re making a profit

Which therefore can be reinvested into other avenues with more student discounts, and so the cycle continues. And if you don’t make the most of those savings now, you’ll be losing money when you graduate. I don’t make the rules.

4. If you’re in charge of the bills for your flat, and your flatmates pay you back for them a week later, you’ve made money

It’s money coming into your account – enough said.

5. The same applies for flat deposits

Getting any part of that money back at the end of the year is tantamount to receiving a very generous gift.

6. Any money spent on hot water bottles, blankets or jumpers is an investment

It extends how long you can go before turning on the heating, and therefore the cost is wiped. By this logic, time spent scouring Vinted for jumpers is time well spent. 

7. Borrowing a book from the library equals money in the bank

This goes double for finding a PDF of it online.

8. Using your flatmate’s ex-boyfriend’s Netflix is not illegal or morally questionable, but is very clever

Netflix’s password-sharing crackdown is cruel and an insult to the financially responsible among us.

9. Getting an Uber home from a night out is entirely justifiable

You have to pay for the night bus anyway, therefore either way you’re spending something.

10. Each element of your degree only counts for about two per cent, so however midterms go, everything is in fact fine

Likewise, 68 per cent on an assignment is essentially a first because you’ll definitely be able to make it up elsewhere later down the line. 

I won’t be taking any questions at this time. Particularly the last one: If it’s not true, I don’t want to hear it. At this point in the semester, if a little bit of delusion helps to get through the midterm mania, I’m all for it.

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• Happy Halloween: Edinburgh students’ scariest Hinge stories