What they didn’t tell you about your second year house

It’s not sunshine and roses

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Your house is the glorious prize for winning the Hunger Games-like competition you and your flatmates had with the hundreds of others who wanted it. But little do you know, it only goes downhill from there.

Sure, everything which could go wrong has already gone wrong from your experiences in halls in first year, haven’t they?

It’s only just begun. You’ve got the whole new freedom feeling, and you’re sharing with your best mates but as the first few months tick by you’ll realize why single, cat loving ladies exist. No, it’s not because they’re sad and probably achieved little else in life but rather they realized animals make much better flatmates than other homo sapiens.

The flatmates

It’s mid-February, you’ve got your best mates together, sat down at the table in the rental agency, and signing the contract for your second year house. You remember the feeling don’t you? Thet giddy feeling of excitement and all those dreams of the fun you’ll have in the years to come of the house you’ll so fondly remember.

Well, burn those dreams away, along with all the mess they’ll leave behind in the kitchen. The bin will become a fly tip zone, the sinks become bacteria experiments and the toilet – let’s not get started.

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Just from looking at all those big brands, you know this flat’s rolling in it… 

You might be able to live in filth, how about living with a human gremlin? All it takes is just one little comment to tick off a timid, friendly flatmate into a hate-filled, producer-punching fiend, all because they were hungry.

Winter is coming

Remember the days of living in halls with the radiator on full blast, window wide open?

In second year you’ll pretty much be constantly cocooned in your bed, refusing to even opening the curtains in hope it’ll be the last line of defence against the Scottish weather.

The boiler will become an antique in the flat, collecting dust, one no one dares to touch wary of the account draining bills from just putting the heating on for an hour.

If you’ve lived in cold climates for most of your life you’ll be fine – but if you’re an international student, all I can say is good luck and hope you don’t get frostbite.

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The fridge

The days of having two fridges and freezers are now gone, no longer can you stock up on all those Tesco Pizzas, ready meals or booze.

Now it’s just a competition of whoever can go and buy food faster than the other flatmates and claim the measly small portion of space, made vacant from rotting food, as their own.

Like a game of 3D Tetris, the fridge almost becomes a daily highlight of the day, a pick and mix of your and your flatmates’ food, with the pleasant surprise of the leftover Chinese which has been in the back of the fridge for the best part of a month. Mmm…

No one's fridge is this full

No one’s fridge is this full

The neighbours

Like the morning after a night at Liquid, you just don’t know who you’ll get next to you.

Whether or not they’ll be Rooms fanatics, listening to reggae, hip-hop, electro mash-ups, or a flat full of questionable characters such as a single 40-year-old guy who blasts Beyoncé on repeat to his legion of cats – you’ll be stuck with them for a year.

So the best tactic is either invest in earplugs or try to get a girlfriend or boyfriend and slowly emigrate into their room, then their flat and then finally their life.

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