Could YOU be Cambridge’s Biggest BNOC?
Nominate a Cantab now
The competition to inflate the already ridiculously large egos of Cantabs everywhere is here.
Tab readers, your help is needed. Cambridge always leaves its students lacking one crucial thing: external validation. You’re obviously never going to be told you are great by your supervisor, your DOS, your tutor, or frankly any of your friends who have seen you as a hungover gremlin wrapped in blankets.
But fear not. The Tab is here to do that for you. We are looking for submissions for Cambridge’s Biggest BNOC – just fill out this anonymous form.
Who should I nominate?
Can your friend not have a conversation without dropping the words ‘The Union’ in? Nominate them.
Has your friend been missing for the entire term, swallowed into the dark abyss of the ADC? Nominate them. If you’re desperate and lonely phone calls can’t persuade them to return to you, maybe achieving their life’s ambition of BNOCery (yes it is an actual word) will bring them back.
Are you forever envious of your friend’s connections? Do they, for some inconceivable reason know absolutely everyone in Cambridge? Is any new encounter a networking opportunity for them to expand their sadistic web of people they know? Nominate them.
Do you gaze through the smoking area after one too many VKs at Cindies in the hope that you will one day get to meet the BNOC you idolise? Nominate them. The entire thing is anonymous, but still.
How do I nominate someone?
Simply fill in this Google form and wait for the magic to happen. Using an incredibly complicated algorithm (or the most complicated maths a Geographer and Historian can manage) we will compile a Top 100 for our dedicated readers to vote on – the most important vote of 2017. After everyone fucked up so badly with votes in 2016, please at least try to get this one right.
If you’d rather not fill in the google form and stick with the traditional form of email (It is 2017, please…) then send the following details to email@example.com.
c) Reason for fame
Reasons could include: Union Hack, ADC/theatre scene, Comedy, Footlights, Sport, Blue, Rower, College JCR Fame, Professional Networker, Drinking Soc Champion, CUCA, CULC, Social Justice Warrior, Journalism Hack, Objective Wanker, Person-that-most-people-know-yet-don’t-know-why, Frequent Facebook or Offer-holders group poster, CUSU
d) (Optional) Embarrassing, funny, or interesting anecdotes about them
Only actual human, current Cambridge students and elected officers are eligible – no fictional characters or ‘That Union guy’ or ‘That ADC guy’. We’re not psychic. Entries will close on the 5th February, 23:59.
The winner will get the biggest prize The Tab can offer – approval from thousands of your peers. Oh, and a Tab T-Shirt.