‘You sound like a f***ing k******d’: A considered ranking of Scott’s Love Island comebacks

Let’s not lie, Scott hasn’t had an easy time of it in the Love Island villa. Mere weeks ago, the whole gaff was ganging up on him, weaselling their opinions about his and Catherine’s relationships into their minds, leaving him out, and generally being horrid.

But if there’s one thing Scott is going to do during this competition it’s not rest until he’s annihilated his enemies. And, over the past couple weeks, his one liners have gone from zero to one hundred. This man is a straight up savage. Mitch has been told. And I can’t get enough.

So, in honour of Scott standing up for himself, here’s a rundown of his absolute best Love Island comebacks, which will be regularly updated as the season continues because, obv, there are going to be many, many, more before the show’s finale.

3. ‘We felt sorry for you, you’ve been single for three weeks’

When the whole villa voted Scott and Abi as the couple most likely to have their heads turned in a challenge it was obvious something was about to go down. They literally called them a “convenience couple”. So, what did Scott do? Went for Mitch’s jugular instead.

“When I spoke to Ella B she didn’t describe Mitch when I asked her what her type was,” he told the rest of the Islanders. “And let’s be honest, Mitch has tried to get to know every single bombshell who walked through the door.”

Then he doubled down with: “The only reason none of us wanted to get to know Abi is because we felt sorry for you because you’ve been single for three weeks.”

Then he tripled down with: “Wasn’t it three days ago you said you wanted Abi back in the boy’s bedroom?” Bang, bang, bang. You’re done. And Whitney was CACKLING.

2. ‘You haven’t f***ing spoke for about four weeks’

Movie night is where one liners enter the Love Island hall of fame and Scott came prepared. When it all started kicking off between the boys’ and the girls’ side (as it always does) Leah, bizarrely, was mouthy about everyone’s behaviour…despite being timid for a fortnight.

“Leah you’re starting to do a lot of talking now, Jesus Christ,” pointed out Scott. “You’re the spokesperson suddenly. You haven’t fucking spoke for about four weeks.”

Legendary. Ella’s jaw was on the floor.

1. ‘You sound like a f***ing k******d’

And, finally, up there with not just one of the best moments of this season but possibly one of the best moments of all time was when producers rolled the tapes of Mitch’s mad moves between Ella B and Abi and he gave the weirdest Grafties acceptance speech ever.

“I’m a better man now,” Mitch claimed. “Anyone else wanna add anything or forever hold your piece. No?” And placed a finger to his lips. Gross.

“Sit down. Please, sit down,” Scott begged, echoing everyone’s thoughts in the villa and at home. “Has anyone ever told you, you sound like a fucking knob head?” he asked Mitch sincerely, before taking Mitch’s chat and Uno reversing it: “Does anyone disagree? Or forever hold your peace? You are a knob head.” Poetry.

Love Island 2023 is on ITV2 and ITVX. For all the latest Love Island Grafties news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. 

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