The definitive ranking of every Olivia Rodrigo song, including Vampire

Trying my hardest not to be Brutal

10 months ago

It’s hard to think of any artist who became the instant pop culture phenomenon Olivia Rodrigo did when she blasted onto the scene as a Disney kid turned pop star with the earth shaking megahit Drivers License. The naysayers cried ‘industry plant’, but the ones with taste said ‘who even cares’? When the music is this good, plant away, baby. The first superstar songwriter of the generation raised on Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo is back with her era for sophomore album Guts – today releasing its lead single, Vampire. To celebrate, here are all Olivia Rodrigo songs so far ranked from worst to best.

Disclaimer: I’m not doing the High School Musical ones. I’m a 27 year old man, be for real.

12. Hope Ur Ok

There’s no proper stinker in Olivia Rodrigo’s small but mighty catalogue, and for that Hope Ur Ok takes the last spot. It ends SOUR with a whimper and not a bang. Like its title, it’s just okay. An unremarkable song that treads the themes she does miles better on other songs.

11. Favorite Crime

It’s a shame that the two most boring songs on SOUR are right at the end – I think they’d shine a bit brighter somewhere else in the tracklist. A nice, folky tune that fails to leave a lasting impact.

10. 1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back

Putting this amazing song, with its gorgeous interpolation of Taylor Swift’s wonderful Reputation closer New Year’s Day, THIRD LAST feels criminal, but such is the quality of the Olivia Rodrigo songs ranked above it. Her vocals sound stunning to the piano and the familiar warmth of the Swift song running through it makes you feel like you already know it so well, even on first listen.

9. Enough For You

A gorgeous country ballad that sees The Rodrigo at her most scorned teen romance girly. It’s a bit juvenile but she writes so convincingly and sells the hell out of the vocal that the well worn territory is easy to forgive.

8. Traitor

SOUR’s first showstopper, heartbreaker, gut puncher. The way this chorus comes in is devastating. There are few words more damning than being branded a traitor, and on this track Olivia lets you know she means every annihilating word – the results are thrilling.

7. Jealousy, Jealousy

I have to be honest: I Stan Olivia Rodrigo the most when she’s leaning into the heavy guitar sound and is getting a bit more rocky with it. With that in mind, how can I not sit and wow at the angst that radiates from Jealousy, Jealousy? Gets overtone by its bigger and better sisters still to be ranked amongst the Olivia Rodrigo songs here – but it is still excellent in its own right.

6. Happier

I love Happier like I love Love On The Brain by Rihanna. Both of these songs are a bit waltzy, and both are sung like Olivia and Rihanna have just necked two bottles of Sauvignon and have sat at the piano ready to drunkenly and scornfully belt their tits off. How can you not be moved by the passion and the heartbreak here?

5. Deja Vu

Of all the big Olivia Rodrigo singles ranked here, Deja Vu feels like one of the songs most overlooked. Obviously it was still a huge hit, but sits in the shadow of Driver’s License before it and Good 4 U after it. Of the three, Deja Vu is the most unusual – a slow burn mid tempo that builds up its instrumentation with amazingly specific lyrics. “Watching reruns of Glee”… We’ve all been there, darlin’.

4. Vampire

A masterclass in exactly how to launch your second album era when your first album era was one of the biggest and most acclaimed debut albums in a minute. Like the monster its title namechecks, Vampire is deceptive. On first listen, you’d be forgiven for being underwhelmed that Olivia Rodrigo didn’t embark on a brand new sound for album two, a la Dua Lipa and Future Nostalgia. Vampire doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but what it is is an immaculately crafted ballad that builds in surprising and unexpected ways. It feels like it crescendos about 10 times, and each line feels devastating. You’d be hard pressed to find a more perfect refrain than “Bloodsucker, fame fucker, bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire”. Taylor Swift wishes she came up with that.

3. Brutal

One of the most brilliant album openers in recent memory, I fear. The false start of the strings into THAT melody that just thumps into your mind, body and soul? Absolute heaven. “I’m so sick of 17, where’s my fucking teenage dream” is just an anthemic lyric that you can’t help but smile at as soon as she says it. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of Brutal, it’s like a kick up the arse to start your day, to smash the gym, to dump your fella, to quit your job. It’s the opening song to the best high school movie you’ve ever seen.

2. Driver’s License

Driver’s License is one of those songs that you’re smiling politely at, having a genuinely nice and pleasant time, until the bridge arrives and it shatters your soul, changes your entire life and becomes one of the best things you’ve ever heard in your silly little life. The bridge has never, EVER lost its power to completely all consume me. I can listen to music whilst doing other tasks, such as writing this ranking, but when that bridge comes on I have to stop and marvel at it. It’s one for the history books.

1. Good 4 U

Good 4 U is one of those gorgeous times where a massive hit deserves every bit of the praise and commercial success it got. Good 4 U was Olivia Rodrigo tearing up the rulebook of the kind of music people thought she would be making, and she does it with the kind of vigour that makes Good 4 U come off like it’s being sung by a rock god six albums into a career. It’s so good that the Paramore comparisons came thick and fast – and even though I barely hear the similarities between G4U and Misery Business personally, the band got a writing credit. If I was the ex this song is about I don’t think I could leave the house – “your apathy’s like a wound in salt” is phenomenal writing. The song, of all the songs ranked here, that sealed the deal that I was going to be an Olivia Rodrigo stan for life.

@harrisonjbrock

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