How long the Love Island 2023 couples will actually last, based purely on their final dates

Everyone knows this by now, some of the Love Island final dates are cursed – so I hate to say it but it’s not looking good for a number of the 2023 couples.

For example, Amber and Greg, Liberty and Jake, Chris and Olivia AND Paige and Adam all went out on a yacht for their final date, and look what happened there. You’re marginally doomed if your date is anything big and extravagant like a helicopter trip, which is what Gabby and Marcel did before he cheated on her and they split up.

Pretty much your only safe bet is a dinner with some music. Couples like Camilla and Jamie and Molly-Mae and Tommy had nice dates with drinks and music, and they are THRIVING now.

So, based on what is clearly the pure *science* behind the Love Island final dates, here are some predictions for what lies ahead for the 2023 couples. I see tears on the horizon!

Ron and Lana – Three months

via ITV

Some aspects of Ron and Lana’s date point towards them having a very bright future together, but unfortunately, there is one glaring red flag here: Water. The addition of water makes me think Ron and Lana will be the couple struck down by the Love Island three month curse. There’s always one couple who gets it!

Last year, Gemma and Luca had a similar date, where they sat and had drinks and small plates, but at a table which was weirdly submerged in water. Also, never forget Faye and Teddy having some drinks stood up in a bath of roses. Ron and Lana, I am scared!

Tom and Samie – Eight months

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via ITV

Tom and Samie’s date was quite different to ones we’ve seen before – but there is one date this one is scarily similar to. Maura and Curtis in 2018. In their season, Maura and Curtis were whisked off to a gorgeous location, and sat down to share some drinks as a harpist played. Maura was even wearing red, just like Samie. It’s uncanny.

Therefore, Tom and Samie will last eight months, just as Maura and Curtis did.

via ITV

A harp means one thing and one thing only: Danger.

Tanya and Shaq – They will last forever!!!

via ITV

Guys – take back everything we’ve ever said about Tanya and Shaq, because after that date they’re getting married and staying together forever! It’s official!

They had the classic gorgeous location, with a simple table and drinks date. It’s romantic, it’s stunning, and it’s a sign of good things to come. Similar Islanders who have had a date like this include Ekin-Su and Davide and Molly-Mae and Tommy. Tanya and Shaq even got up and had a dance at the end of their date, much like Camilla and Jamie did.

Will and Jessie – One year

via ITV

Will and Jessie going on a barn date for their final hoorah is so them, but I don’t think it means they’ll last forever. We’ve never had a barn final date before, granted, but it’s ringing similar to when producers tried to do something quirky and fun and sent 2021’s Chloe and Toby on an Alice in Wonderland picnic. They lasted a year, and so will Will and Jessie.

Kai and Sanam – Longer than forever

via ITV

Novels will be written about this love story – mark my words. The final date had by Kai and Sanam is straight out of a fairytale, and I am therefore convinced they will go the distance and last an eternity. The is like Camilla and Jamie and Molly-Mae and Tommy’s previous dates but times 100. The world isn’t ready for their global domination.

For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• The Love Island date curse: How the final dates determine each couple’s fate together

• A rundown of every time there’s been a huge editing error during Love Island 2023

• These are the wildest transformations from the cast of Love Island 2023