18 predictions about every candidate on The Apprentice 2023 you can’t prove wrong

The Apprentice is back, and ergo – so are my nonsense predictions! Truly there is nothing I love more than making a bunch of assumptions on a load of hopefuls queuing up for Lord Sugar’s investment like lambs to the slaughter, and making those assumptions on nothing but their overall promo pic and trailer vibe. Because sometimes, kids, you SHOULD judge a book by its cover! Here’s 18 predictions for The Apprentice 2023, let’s go.

Avi – Cockiest one there by a country mile

Avi’s the youngest Apprenny candidate of 2023, so bet your bottom Bridge Cafe dollar that he’s going to be a cocky little sh*t. He says he’s the “hardest working rat” in the race, which proves me right already. I love it.

Bradley – Most likely to be the actor Will Poulter in disguise

Not much to say about this one, besides the fact he looks exactly like the film star Will Poulter, and if halfway through there season it was revealed that it actually IS Will Poulter entering the show in disguise, I’d not really be too shocked.

Dani – Most likely to say ‘yoo hoo’ to Claude Littner

There’s always one candidate who gets that little bit overly familiar with the aides. I’m no fortune teller, but I see a scolding from Littner in Dani’s future.

Denisha – Most likely to say ‘Aww I’m sorry you feel that way Karren’

When last year’s legendary winner Harpreet said that bold quote to Karren Brady’s face it was the ballsy gag of the century. I know from Denisha’s iconic arm placement she’s capable of the same.

Emma – Most likely to shed tears in the boardroom

Emma says in her promo that no matter if she gets the investment or not, she’s going to be one of the biggest success stories in the show’s history. If that doesn’t say tears to you, nothing will.

Gregory – Most likely to end up on Celebs Go Dating

The Ryan-Markification of posh, quirky Apprentice men.

Joseph – Most likely to have the world fancying the f*ck out of him

I’m already down bad, gotta say.

Kevin – Most likely to be Kieran from The Traitors in disguise

Refuse to believe that isn’t Kieran from The Traitors in a different suit, who hopped BBC shows after failing to win any money in the Scottish castle.

Mark – Most likely to well and truly kick off

Of all my The Apprentice 2023 predictions, it’s this one I have faith in. He used to be a soldier, for god’s sake. Shouting is in his DNA.

Marnie – Most likely to never get brought back into the boardroom

I’M CALLING IT NOW: She’s in the final. No messing about with this one.

Megan – Most likely to forget she exists

Not to be tight, but you know how some people have main character energy? This is background character energy.

Reece – Most likely to see the band Steps in concert

I don’t know if Reece is a Steps gay, or if he’s even gay – but a theatre company owner in a waistcoat like that? Hallmarks of someone who’s a big fan of the vocal stylings of Claire Richards.

Rochelle – Most likely to be Gay Twitter’s mother

Every year, we have one. And this is she.

Shannon – Most likely to set an Apprentice record in a task

Shannon has huge overachiever energy and I feel like she’s going to set a crazy sales record. Just you watch!

Shazia – Most likely to say something shady in the taxi

I would not cross her.

Simba – Most likely to go for it acting in an advert

Simba has the energy who will be acting his suit off in some ridiculous advert task down the line, and that is one of those Apprentice 2023 predictions that makes so much sense to me.

Sohail – Most likely to give Claude pictures of sailboats

I feel a “Please get out” on the horizon.

Victoria – Most likely to get to the final with another pigging sweet business

We need to BAN sweet businesses from The Apprentice, I’ve had enough.

The Apprentice 2023 starts at 9pm on Thursday 5th January, on BBC One and iPlayer – see if any of these predictions come true!

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