Here’s the emotional speech Ashley gave at her mum Tracy Jo Wilson’s funeral, in full
She sadly died just before Ashley's season came out
The Ultimatum’s Ashley wrote her mum, Tracy Jo Wilson, a heartwarming speech in May, a week after she passed. For her funeral, everyone was asked to wear her favourite colour, pink, as they watched on while Ashley spoke about how amazing her mother was.
“I want everyone to take a moment and look around this room. Every person here represents a person my mum has touched, every seat: someone she helped, someone she made laugh, or someone who just simply felt better after being around her.
“What I love most is this room doesn’t tell the whole story. It doesn’t represent the people who couldn’t be here today. It doesn’t represent the countless people she impacted and memories we may never know. She showed up for people and remembered the littlest of things.
“She celebrated everybody else’s big wins and also carried burdens like they were her own. The love in this room is overwhelming but it’s only a fraction of the love my mum put out into the world. I know a lot of you have put up with me for making everyone take pictures.
“But looking around today, I bet nobody could blame me. The hardest part about losing her is knowing there’s never going to be another her. She truly was one of one, but if there’s one thing bringing me comfort right now, it’s knowing that her pain is gone.
“My Mum spent her life taking care of everyone else and as much as I wish she was still here, I know she’s finally at peace. This last week felt impossible. I keep wishing for one more conversation, one more hug and one more chance to tell her how much she means to me.
“And also the feeling of regret that I wish I was there with her to be by her side when she needed me the most. But if she were here today, she’d probably tell me what she always told me: Everything will always work out, and to never give up. So that’s what I’m holding onto.
“You’ve left us with some very big shoes to fill. In many ways, this feels like a very big test of our lives without you. The first time we’re being asked to carry the strength, love and loyalty you always carried for us. You’ll know she wasn’t just my Mum, she was my best friend.
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“She was my first phone call when something exciting happened and the person I called when I needed advice, because she just always knew what to say. She was the kind of Mum I didn’t have to hide things from. I told her literally everything.
“No matter what it was, she didn’t judge me. She’d listen. Looking back now, I don’t think I fully appreciated everything she did for me. She spent years driving me back and forth to Dallas and back, just for cheer practice, and we spent every weekend living in hotel rooms.
“She just really wanted me to have every opportunity possible. She made sure I had everything I needed and then some. It didn’t matter how much time it took or what she had to sacrifice. I thought all of those years were about me chasing my dreams.
“But looking back now, I’ve realised she was alongside me every step of the way. And honestly, part of me realised I was living out some of her dreams, too. And if I’m being honest, I’m scared of letting her down and living up to the standards she set.
“Because you’ll know she didn’t do anything halfway. She went above and beyond, although making it seem effortless. I’m also terrified of the future, and the moments I always pictured she’d be right by my side. One day, when she magically drops the love of my life in my lap.
“We all know I’d be in an arranged marriage at this point. I won’t have her there to run to and tell her about it, and then there’s getting married, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to plan a wedding without her. She would have been with me, obsessing over every detail.
“And one day, when I have a few kids, they’re never going to get to know their Grammy. They’ll never get to experience the kind of love she gave. She’d have shown up to every game, every practice, and somehow convince them every toy they want from Target was necessary.
“That breaks my heart. But genuinely what scares me most right now is helping take care of these boys. Mum, I don’t know how you did it. It’s already been a week and I’m going insane. If there’s one thing I do know, it’s that my Mum wanted me to live my absolute best life.
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“As hard as it is to say, I would’ve never imagined this is where I’d be standing. I can’t help but think God was preparing me for this moment in so many ways that I didn’t understand. When I look back on this past year, I realise I spent more time with her than in years.
“I took more videos, I made more memories, shared more experiences and had more conversations that I’ll carry with me forever. Somehow, even fighting my family for years, God got me back to Texas. If you know me, you’ll know I fought it every step of the way.
“But now I can’t help but believe he wanted me to be closer to her. God has also surrounded me with some of the most incredible people II could ever ask for. He gave me friendships and a community that has carried me through the hardest week of my life.
“Looking back, I feel like he was putting people in place before I even knew I needed them. But most importantly, my Mum got to see me happy and building a life back in Texas. She got to see me surrounded by people who love me and living life to the fullest.
“I know that she’ll continue to see me happy and continuing to live my life. It’s still one of the things that makes her smile. I just want to thank you for being the best Mum and the best friend I could ever ask for. I’m so sorry for not having my roots done at your funeral.
“I know you’d freak out about it. Because if you know Tracy, she was never not all done up and dressed to the nines. But seriously, you are my better half and nothing will ever be the same without you. I’ll carry you with me by reminding myself, ‘What would Mum do?’
“I’ll try to behave and make better decisions. I love you more than words can explain and I can’t wait for the day I get to see you again,” Ashley added in her speech, in which her father, Wayne, sat by her side and shared tears with her, while everyone wore pink.
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