Everything Ashley has said about the impact of her mum’s sudden death after The Ultimatum
'She was my best friend in this entire world'
Ashley’s mum, Tracy Jo Wilson, sadly passed away just seven weeks ago following The Ultimatum filming, which wrapped last year. She was just 50 when she passed at the end of May, according to her obituary, and Ashley has been very open about speaking about the sudden loss of her mum and how it’s impacted her.
Ashley described the pain of losing her mum like that ‘of a bad dream’
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Ashley first shared the news of her mum’s death in an Instagram post, writing: “I’ve never thought I’d say these words. I never thought I’d lose you like this mom. You’re my best friend. Our rock. I don’t want to believe this is true. I’m still hoping to wake up from a bad dream. I can’t believe I’ve lost you. I will make you proud. I will keep our family close and make it my life mission. You’ve taught me everything. You’ve taught me how to love hard. You’ve taught me grace. You are the world’s most perfect person, mom, sister, best friend, daughter and loved by so many. You are literally an angel, rest in peace mom.”
Ashley’s mum was her ‘best friend in the entire world’
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She then reflected more upon her mother’s death, recalling how she felt like “God was preparing” her for the moment her mum passed away.
Ashley wrote: “This last week has felt impossible. I keep wishing for one more conversation, one more hug, and one more chance to tell her how much she means to me. In many ways, this feels like the first big test without her. The first time carrying the strength, love, and loyalty that she always carried for us.
“If you know me and my mom then you know she wasn’t just my mom. She was my best friend in this entire world. My first phone call when something exciting happened and the person I called when I needed advice because she just always knew exactly what to say. She was my biggest cheerleader, my momager (before that was even a thing), partner in crime, and the person who always believed in me.”
She continued: “I can’t help but feel like God was preparing me for this moment in so many ways that I didn’t understand. When I look back on this past year, I realize I spent more time with her than I had in years. I took more videos, made more memories, and had conversations I’ll carry forever. She was my other half and nothing will ever be the same without her.”
She also addressed those who were rudely criticising her grieving process
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Posting on her story, Ashley addressed criticism that she’d been receiving about how she’s been posting about the death of her mum.
She wrote: “This is the one and only time I’m going to address this. Today marks 17 days since I lost my mom. Truth is I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Everything feels wrong. Living life without her feels wrong. Smiling feels wrong. Being sad all day feels wrong. Posting feels wrong. Not posting feels wrong.
“I’m trying to navigate the most heartbreaking loss of my life while also figuring out how to continue living it. Some days I cry. Some days I laugh. Some days I distract myself. That’s what grief looks like for me right now.
“If you have opinions about how I’m grieving, how often I’m posting, or what I should be doing, please keep them to yourself. My mom was my best friend, and I miss her every single second of every day. This is my real life, not just some gossip you and your family talk about. If the way I’m choosing to survive this loss bothers you, feel free to unfollow me and f right off.”
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