Simon Bajkowski
Fitz, History A grim northerner, Simon has slowly accepted the lack of cheap beer or 'proper' food further south, and now merely spends his time moaning about that. When not doing this or being snowed under by his degree, Simon covers news in Cambridge, and very occasionally forms enough of an opinion to write that down too.

BREAKING: Fez Sleeping Without The Fish

More trouble for Cambridge’s nightclubs. Fez’s future is in doubt again, after Big Fish announced they’re pulling their night there on Sundays.

UPDATE: Body Found In The Cam

UPDATE: the body found in the Cam on Sunday has been identified.

Star Fresher Up For National Award

A Downing fresher’s school DT project has bagged her a nomination for the national Women of the Future Awards.

Sidney’s Singer Goes Solo For Charity

A Sidney student and Tab favourite will be pedalling through the night in the aid of charity, with a bit of help from friends and The Wire.

BREAKING: Sainsbury Scores Top Post

In an unsurprising result, Lord Sainsbury has won the race to be the next chancellor of the uni. Are you happy with the result?

Chancellor Race Heats Up In The Sun

Excitement (and a queue) is building along King’s Parade as alumni flock to vote and rumours and scandals start to swirl in the chancellor elections.

Student Plays Matchmaker With New Site

A Jesus student helping Cantabs with their love lives with a new site that lets people anonymously text whoever they’ve got the hots for.

Rugby Blues Rover The Moon With New Sponsors

Jack Wills have sealed a deal to sponsor Varsity rugby this year, and have taken stash to new levels by chucking in some complimentary cars.

Ansari Answers

SIMON BAJKOWSKI sits down to talk about Surrey, success and Sky TV with Tit Hall Cricket star ZAFAR ANSARI.

Cambridge On Top Of The World, Again

A number of top uni rankings tables have confirmed what many of us already know: Cambridge is simply unbeatable.

Clash In Cambridge As Riot Violence Spreads

There were arrests and injuries last night as police confronted a gang of youths heading for a Cambridge shopping centre.

Downing May Ball

SIMON BAJKOWSKI has an Olympian time, with only minor mess-ups.

UPDATE: What A Pickle!

As the comments continue to come in thick and fast after the drama with Eric Pickles at the Union, The Tab gets two different views of the situation

Sex-Starved Or Just Faithful?

New survey results show that students at nearly every other uni have more sexual partners than those here in Cambridge.

Uni Supremacy Struggle As Sainsbury’s Storm On

Recent developments from supermarket giant Sainsbury’s may pose grave danger for the uni and future students if urgent measures are not undertaken.

Britain’s Got More Entertaining

SIMON BAJKOWSKI muses on the changing face of Britain’s Got Talent, suggesting that since this series runs off the back of an oh-so-familiar precedent, the post-modern viewer requires something different from the BGT experience. Enter Messrs McIntyre and Hoff.

Boffin Beard’s BAFTA Beaut

Classics Professor Mary Beard could be set for a BAFTA after her documentary on Pompeii was nominated in the Secialist Factual section.

John’s Ball Bidding Bonanza Begins

Four pairs of tickets for John’s Ball have been put on Ebay for charity auction, with the committee announcing all sorts of treats for this year’s guests.

Jail For Gilmour?

Charlie GIlmour could face jail after pleading guilty to violent disorder in the student protests last year, although he has been granted bail until after his exams.

Cambridge Goes On Offensive Over Access

Both students and academics have come out against MP’s allegations over university intake, winning the support of key education groups in the process.

Exclusive: Woscars Wipe Out Wolfson President

James Mitchell, Wolfson College Students’ Association President, resigned yesterday after a number of complaints were made about his language and conduct at a college event, The Tab can reveal.

Exclusive: Wolfson Student President Resigns

The Tab understands that Wolfson student president James Mitchell has resigned this morning after a controversial college awards ceremony.

That’s Number One, Wang

Cambridge’s Phil Wang recently beat off the rest of the competition to win a national student comedy award and book himself ten top gigs.

Assured Assange Worth The Wait

Julian Assange’s speech at the Union today was greeted by the longest queues in living memory and a positive reaction from the 800-strong crowd.

RON Smashed At Union

Friday night was a miserable one for RON at the Union Elections, but not for all. The Tab gets reaction from the winners.

Exclusive: Union Bags Wikileaks Founder Assange

Wikileaks founder and whistle-blowing activist Julian Assange will speak at the Union a week on Tuesday, with members also in with a chance to meet him afterwards.

Union Lifts Press Ban to Make Elections “Exciting”

Anyone running for a Union position can now launch Facebook campaigns and use any media as the Union tries to pull more voters in.

Govt Policy “Leap In The Dark” Claims Top Prof

A senior tutor has claimed the government’s tuition fee policy is a “leap in the dark” and that it could damage state school intake.

Asians Crown Jules (Huppert)

Cambridge MP Huppert picks up an award from an unlikely source for being one of the most “refreshing and energetic” people in politics.

Exclusive: Robinson May Ball Sells Out Before General Release

All tickets for Robinson May Ball sold out before making it to general release tonight – but no Robinson students will miss out.

Students Give The Porn Supremacy

Students on Thursday voted for porn as a good public service, in a particularly fiery debate at the Union.

Swan Song For Mr ASBO?

Mr ASBO’s days on the river could be numbered after Cam Conservancy decided to request for its removal.

Half Way Hell At Fez

Three Downing students were hospitalised and two more injured after being attacked in Fez by strangers for wearing dinner jackets.

From Vuvuzelas To Hooters: Jailbreak- The Winners’ Story

EXCLUSIVE: The Tab speaks to 2011 Jailbreak winners about Argentina and the long journey there.

War And Peas In City Centre

Central point Peas Hill has been named as the 6th worst street for crime in England and Wales, but Inspector Paul Ormerod is not convinced.

Pigeon Droppings Reveal Student Diversity

A new service has been delivering anonymous messages to people’s pigeon holes across the University.

All Adds Up For Vorderman Family

Carol Vorderman is ecstatic that her daughter Katie has been offered a place at Cambridge for next year.

Fitfinder Back Bigger And Better With Dragon Dosh

Fitfinder returns better than ever as Floxx, with new map and app features making it easy to use anywhere.

All They Want for Christmas Is A Plane Back Home

Jesus College Choir is still hoping for a Christmas miracle after the cancellation of their flight from Washington has left them stuck in the USA.

Harvard Take The Piss

36 gay and lesbian books have been founded soaked in urine in Harvard’s library, sparking anger and confusion.

Spoon-Fed Students Struggle

Cambridge students find things tough because they were spoon-fed through exams, according to a new study.

Lammy Slaughters Oxbridge Over Admissions ‘Whitewash’

Labour MP David Lammy accused Oxbridge of admitting a shocking low number of black, lower class and Northern students.

Assembly Fight “Voldemort’s” Cuts

The full report on todays General Assembly, which saw the protestors fight against the cuts compared to “Dumbledore’s Army fighting Voldemort”.

Exclusive: Arrests And Violence As Demo Turns Nasty

There were two arrests outside King’s today after a student march against tuition fee rises and education cuts turned nasty.

Exclusive: Cambridge Student Starts Gay Sex Blog

An anonymous Cambridge student has started a sex blog about his first gay experiences, promising that he ‘won’t hold back’ in describing sexual encounters.

Fitz Ball Have Entertainment Salted

Fitz’s upcoming Willy Wonka themed ball will feature the ORIGINAL Veruca Salt from the 1971 version of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

Chem Eng Inferno Narrowly Averted

Fire at faculty, as fireman jokes “I’d have had the whole building come down”.

Image Unconscious

SIMON BAJKOWSKI doesn’t care about dodgy sponorship, and nor should you.

Corpus Cashes In On Potter

Corpus are to open their formal hall doors to the public for a whopping £57.75.

Welcome to Cambridge – The Best University In The World

The respected QS World University Rankings table shows the home of Cindies overtaking Harvard to take top spot.