From the Armo to Muscle Manor: What your Manchester gym says about you

It’s coming up to the middle of semester one and your body no doubt feels very broken. Whether it’s the routine hangovers or too much post night out scran (or both, I’m not one to judge), you’re probably wanting to touch some grass, reconnect with nature and pull yourself together for the millionth time this week before you fall apart again next weekend.

So, it’s only right that I provide you with a comprehensive, factual, and not at all subjective guide on what your Manchester gym of choice says about you!

1. The Armitage Centre

Affectionately known as “The Armo”, the Armitage Sports Centre is the home of Uni of Manchester sport. With approximately 10 outdoor sports pitches, a double indoor court and a fitness suite, you would expect the Armo Gym to be top of the range. Instead, it’s actually the size of a shoebox and could probably be crowned the most intimidating gym in Manchester.

If you go here, you’re no doubt a “student athlete” with a strict gym schedule to get you in top form for your Wednesday fixture (and yes that includes the game you’ll drop at the sports social).

Coming in at an appropriate £130 for the yearly student membership, the Armo is not the most financially ruining. Even if you do find the courage to brave the Armo Gym, you might get bullied out of there if you can’t squat your body weight.

2. The Gym Group, Fallowfield

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Located five minutes away from Fallowfield’s halls, this gym is more of a social setting than somewhere to work out. If you go here, you’re probably a first year who joined the first gym you could see, or you do the 12-3-30 on the treadmill for a gossip with your girls (if you feel targeted, I’m sorry).

At £25.99 a month and with a student discount that seemingly runs all year around, The Gym Group is by no means a bad choice. Just be prepared to see everyone you’ve ever met in your life whilst you’re attempting RDLs with awful form. Worse yet, you get stuck in that weird tube at the entrance.

3. Withington Baths

The best gym option in Manchester in my most humble opinion. If you’re a first year, politely leave this place alone – it’s reserved for the exhausted and elderly final years. With a monthly £25 membership that includes a gym and a swimming pool, Withington Baths is a steal.

If you come here, you’re probably a second or third year who promised their housemates you’re going to start swimming this year to stay fit (my housemates can vouch for me). You no doubt already live in Withington anyways, so this is the most conveniently located gym for you. She is beauty, she is grace, she is Withington Baths.

4. Muscle Manor, Fallowfield

The latest addition to the Fallowfield strip is the mighty Muscle Manor and it is quite something. With a £45 a month membership, you have to be a pretty avid gym goer to be going to Muscle Manor. Hence why this is actually the scariest gym in Fallowfield (sorry Armo).

A Muscle Manor maniac solely drinks out of a MyProtein bottle, eats chicken and rice every day and I already know that you grunt far too loudly when you do a deadlift. Muscle Manor does boast a female-only glute section which is a win for the girls but even that couldn’t tempt me.

5. TRIB3 Deansgate

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Last but not least is TRIB3 in Deansgate: If you go here religiously, I can’t tell whether I want to be you, or run away from you. Sitting at a hefty £79 a month, TRIB3 is the most expensive of this bunch and that’s not counting the workout smoothie or acai bowl you get after.

If you go here, you’re already a fitness guru, you have the best slicked back ponytail ever, and you most definitely have your life together. You may use your Fiat 500 to get there but hey, you’re in a better shape than the rest of us so who are we to judge?

So there you have it, the best gyms in Manchester to keep you sane and fit during the semester. Whether you’re a TRIB3 girlie, a fresher at The Gym Group or a Muscle Manor maniac, there is a sports facility here for everyone (but not Withington Baths, stay away from her because I do not need to see the entire of South Manchester in the pool every morning).

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