The housemate pet peeves we can all agree on

We’re two weeks into the new term; the Christmas break is now a distant memory and you’ve settled back into Uni life.

This also means by this point you’ll be reminded of the joys, as well as the turmoil, that inevitably results from cohabiting with your pals. Although I love my housemates, there are times I do question what possessed me to move in with them in the first place…

So on that note, here are the top seven deadliest sins you could commit as a housemate.

1. Dirty dishes…IN the sink

Ah, the age-old dishes-in-the-sink vs leave-them-on-the side-for-later debate. This is one that really riles me up. Granted, we’re all busy, and I am definitely guilty of leaving a baking tray to fester for a lot longer than is really necessary. However, if you’re going to delay your washing up, please don’t be that person that decides to launch a blockade on the sink comprised of leftovers and IKEA cutlery.

This is both extremely irritating, as well as extremely disgusting. Simply leave your dishes on the side, neatly out of my way, so I can tackle the result of my own culinary delights. This also means that I won’t have to refrain from vomiting when I go to make my morning coffee. I’m yet to hear a good argument from the sink-cloggers. 

2. Changing the level of the toaster

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This one just perplexes me. From both ends of the toasting-spectrum, it makes no sense. How could you possibly want to eat toast that has been decimated to level six? Equally, if you’ve got it on level two, you may as well have not bothered. Either way, if my bagel pops out in the morning and I have to resort to scraping off a charred layer into the bin, my day will be automatically ruined.

This is a particular problem in my household as for some bizarre reason all it takes is a few burnt crumbs to set our fire alarm off. This, combined with my housemates being both late-night and early-morning snackers, often results in a lot of abusive messages sent in the group chat. In conclusion: leave the toaster alone… or have cereal. 

3. Crusty toothpaste in the sink

I don’t feel the need to elaborate here. It literally takes two seconds to wash it away and it’s enough to send anyone over the edge. Sort it out. 

4. Drunk cooking. 

I don’t know if this is a widespread problem or just an issue in my house, but I can’t take it anymore. Who in their right mind comes back from a wild night of cutting shapes on the Soho dance floor and thinks ‘I really fancy a cod and oven chips right now’. 

Five hours later, we have a boy who now is in a panicked frenzy, freshly woken up from his accidental nap, a smoke-filled kitchen, and… this.

I think the photo speaks for itself here. I just wish I could share the smell that went along with it. I’ll happily donate £1.20 for a sausage roll from the 24-hour Greggs if I am spared having to relive the pain of this particular experience again. 

5. Not knocking

Okay, this one may seem a bit pathetic. “But we’re all such good friends!”, I hear you say!

But picture this; it’s been a long day at Uni, you’ve had a breakfast of carcinogenic toast, seen the crusty toothpaste build-up in your bathroom sink and acknowledged the pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen. You are drained, and all you want to do is mindlessly scroll in the safety of your room. So, naturally, you lie about going upstairs to get a start on some of your work. You’ve made it. A few fleeting moments of peace alone… until your housemate bursts through the door – startling you – and catches you red-handed. Let me procrastinate in peace.

6. Not replacing the toilet roll

How old are we? The bulk pack of toilet rolls we all chipped in for from Amazon is literally at the end of the corridor. What’s even worse is if you’re evil enough to leave a singular sheet behind. I’d rather be faced with the empty roll. It’s just cruel.  

7. Moving a boyfriend/girlfriend in (that everyone else in the house publicly hates). 

The final sin on this list happens to be the deadliest one of them all. This one may seem extreme, yet is more common than you may think. I thank the heavens above that this has never happened to me, and from the anecdotes I’ve heard, my heart goes out to anyone who has been suffering.

I can’t even imagine the torture. You already feel like you are part of the relationship from all the stories you’ve been told, and suddenly they’re in your home, taking up your (already very limited) space, leaving a trail of their belongings everywhere and having arguments at ungodly hours.

It’s bad enough to get you googling how to rescue your poor housemate from Stockholm Syndrome. It’s time to break up, or alternatively, I’ve found a lovely one-bed maisonette in Heaton I think they may be interested in.