It’s official: Here’s the correct Durham college bar crawl route

N.B. Ustinov not included x

| UPDATED

So, you’ve finally decided to indulge in what might be the best night out you’ll get in Durham: The infamous college bar crawl. A complete bar crawl is something Oxbridge students just can’t achieve with their ridiculous amount of colleges, so it’s essential that the Durham student embraces and flexes one at every opportunity.

However, when done wrong, a college bar crawl might only be remembered for huffing and puffing up the hill and not for being the best piss-up of your late teens. This is why we think it’s important to let freshers in on Durham’s best kept secret. So, here’s a fault-proof way to tackle every college bar in one night. And trust me, it’s tried and tested.

1. Stevo

So, the plan here is to begin at the bottom of the hill and work your way back up into town. Naturally then, we’re starting off strong with Stevo. Be there at 6pm sharp and enjoy the many flags they have whilst sipping on your first beverage of the night.

2. Jobo

Next, hop across the mound to Jobo and find yourself a seat in the sunshine for drink number two.

3. South

Time to cross the A177. Which shouldn’t be a difficult task, unless of course you’re a huge lightweight and are already smashed. Head to the bright lights of South bar and prepare yourself for the inevitable: They’ll probably only have pink gin or Sambuca.

4. John Snow

Next up on the list is John Snow bar, which always seems to be hosting a weird social. Drink up or join in, the choice is yours.

5. Aiden’s

Admittedly a missable one (sorry), going to Aiden’s next makes the most geographical sense. If you do make the trek there, reward yourself with a sit down in the pretty garden and take in the camp surroundings.

6. Van Mildert

Next up, it’s swamp time. Have a swim, say hi to the ducks, and enjoy a Shrek Juice or two.

7. Trevs

Head to Trevs next. You can’t miss it, it’s probs the weirdest shaped building in the North East. Sufficiently mangle your morals and move on.

8. Collingwood

Congrats, fresh! You’ve made it half way! And what better way to celebrate than with a nice pint in a place that feels like your local back home.

9. Grey

Make your way to the tent for your next drink. I’ll let you decide if Grey College is truly grey by name and grey by nature…

10. Mary’s

Good luck with this one. Mary’s Bar is essentially an underground bunker which only opens once in a blue moon, which means that even if you do find it, chances are your glass will run dry at this stop.

11. Cuth’s

This is where going gets tough (and the tough get going). After negotiating Prebends Bridge, take a minute to prepare yourself for the carnage that is Cuth’s Bar. You will be sweating, you will queue indefinitely for a drink, and you will be decked onto the floor on multiple occasions. Just think of it as a warm up for Jimmy’s.

12. John’s

Don’t be fooled by this college’s pious reputation. In my experience, John’s is where things start to get messy. The eight Jägerbombs for £10 deal is an offer which is too good to refuse (seriously, it would be rude).

13. Chad’s

It’s plausible that you’ll be needing to see a friendly face at this point in the night. Well, not to fear, I’m sending you to Chad’s next, where you’re bound to be greeted by a mass of really nice people.

14. Castle

On the contrary, Castle is up next. Take your BeReal, play some darts, and embrace the inevitable imposter syndrome.

15. Hatfield

Hatfield is last for a reason. You’re going to need the Dutch courage you’ve accumulated throughout the night to cope with the Mintys, Ruperts and Flos you’ll see in there. But most importantly, now you’ll pass bossman shop on the way to the club. And nothing beats a pre-Klute pack of quavers.

16. Hild Bede

Oh, I forgot about this one. I guess you could go to Hild Bede now? Does Hild Bede even have a bar? So many questions.

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