Ranking all the 2023 MAFS UK cast based on nothing but the vibes of their promo pics

The pose where the lads are rubbing their hands together is pure evil

8 months ago

The day hath come – tonight, Married at First Sight UK returns for 2023, with a new cohort of MAFS hopefuls who are ready to marry a stranger. After last year proving the UK version of this show could go toe to toe with the best reality TV we have to offer, the pressure’s on for this year’s cast to deliver the goods. So what better way to declare if they will or not by a silly little ranking of all the 2023 MAFS UK cast based on the sheer vibes alone of their promo pictures? Perfect.

16. Thomas

Via Channel 4

The smuggest picture I’ve ever seen. Feel like I’ve been forced to go to the Grand National with the smuggest Tory I’ve ever met and had to watch them win loads of money whilst I emerge penniless. A bit evil. Easily ranking last of the MAFS UK cast 2023 if just pictures is what we’re going off.

15. Terence

Via Channel 4

This picture makes me feel like I’m a delicious plate of food and I’m about to be gobbled up. It’s also kinda Wario coded. Very villainous.

14. Arthur

Via Channel 4

We need to make this pose illegal because the show is doing these poor men a travesty.

13. Luke

Via Channel 4

The energy of an untrustworthy wheeler dealer. A bit Del Boy (derogatory).

12. Rosaline

Via Channel 4

Wouldn’t say boo to a goose this one, I fear. The annual timid shrew.

11. Brad

Via Channel 4

From this picture I would either adore every second I spent with this man or despise it. No in-between.

10. Laura

Via Channel 4

I’m kind of terrified of her, but on the plus side she’s giving me Coleen Rooney energy which I am afraid I simply have to stan.

9. Peggy

Via Channel 4

I’m obsessed with this hair and that alone gets you into the top 10 of my petty little ranking of the MAFS UK 2023 cast. Nobody can ever say I’m hard to please ever again.

8. Shona

Via Channel 4

There’s a very radiant, Stacy Solomon-esque warmth to Ar Shona that I am loving.

7. Nathanial

Via Channel 4

Takes a certain kind of fun vibe to go for this bedraggled, end of the night vibe for your promo picture. I feel hungover just looking at it. I rate it.

6. Porscha

Via Channel 4

I just know she has the tea.

5. Georges

Via Channel 4

Deeply sexy. Even this evil suit can’t ruin how much I fancy the Handsome Shrek energy of this man.

4. Ella

Via Channel 4

My girly. My queen. Slayed the Haus down boots, mama.

3. Tasha

Via Channel 4

Slay beyond words. Imagine coming in to do your promo shoot and gobbling it up like this, like you’ve been gracing the covers of fashion magazines your whole life? Just have to marvel at it, really.

2. Jay

Via Channel 4

How can you not want to be mates with this angel? A ray of sunshine. I am endeared. The vibes are immaculate and I’ll genuinely be heartbroken if the show starts and she’s anything less than joyous.

1. Paul

Via Channel 4

Everything about this image feels positive to me. Having a nice suit will do that to a guy! But the smile! The relaxed pose! If I walked down the aisle to this I’d be beaming. Happy soul. I can’t wait for MAFS UK 2023 to start tonight and ruin this entire ranking, but for now – let’s just soak in the blissful ignorance.

Meet all the cast in this MAFS UK 2023 ranking when Married at First Sight starts tonight on E4. For more like this and all the memes and gossip, like The Holy Church of MAFS on Facebook.