Here are the six things every King’s student is guilty of saying at least once

Being a King’s student comes with a very specific set of complaints, questionable decisions and an impressive ability to convince ourselves that next week will be different. Having spent the last three years at King’s, I’d like to think I’ve gained some valuable knowledge. Unfortunately, most of it has nothing to do with my degree.

You’d think that with five campuses, hundreds of courses and thousands of students, we’d have slightly more original things to say. Apparently not.

So, whether you’re a Strand regular or one of the unfortunate souls making the trek to Denmark Hill, here are six things you’ve almost definitely said during your time at King’s. And if you haven’t, you’ve certainly heard someone else say them.

‘Where on earth is the Chesham Building?’

With the excessive amount of signage at Strand, finding your class in the Chesham Building should be relatively straightforward. But it’s not.

Nothing prepares you for having a seminar in Chesham for the first time. One minute you’re confidently walking through Strand Campus, the next you’ve somehow gone down a thousand flights of stairs, passed the same corridor three times and started questioning whether the building actually exists.

To top it all off, by the time you finally find the room, you’re already late and have to awkwardly interrupt a seminar that’s been going on for 15 minutes.

‘I’m actually going to all my 9ams this week’

A promise made every Sunday evening, usually by someone who hasn’t attended a full week of lectures since Freshers’ Week.

You’ve set your alarms, packed your bag and convinced yourself that this is the week you finally become an academic weapon. Fast-forward to Monday morning and suddenly the journey to campus seems entirely unreasonable.

Besides, that’s what lecture recordings are for. You’ll definitely catch up later… obviously.

‘I’m actually taking it easy this sports night’

Possibly the biggest lie ever told on a Wednesday at King’s.

It starts with the very sensible suggestion of having one or two drinks at Guy’s Bar before heading home early. Three hours later, you’ve lost half your friends, your voice and any hope of making your Thursday morning lecture.

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Now that DC has closed, you’d think we’d all have accepted that it’s time to start having quieter Wednesdays. But with the entire King’s student population still in mourning, surely a big night out is the only appropriate way to pay our respects?

‘£6.50 for a pint is actually not that bad’

You know you’ve been studying in London for too long when you start defending prices that would genuinely horrify your friends at other universities.

Somehow, paying £6.50 for a pint near Strand starts to feel like a bargain, and spending £5 on an iced coffee becomes a completely reasonable daily expense.

You’ll still complain that your student loan has mysteriously disappeared, though. It’s a real mystery where all that money could’ve gone…

‘Why does Waterloo campus feel like a sixth form?’

There’s something about walking into Waterloo campus that makes you feel as though you’re about to be told off for not having your planner signed.

Between the corridors, classrooms and general school-like atmosphere, it’s not exactly the glamorous central London university experience you pictured when accepting your King’s offer.

Nothing makes it worse than having a random lecture there sandwiched between two at Strand. As if crossing Waterloo Bridge wasn’t already enough of a punishment, you’re now expected to do it at a light jog.

‘Did I mention we basically have the Shard on our campus?’

If there’s one thing Guy’s students love, it’s reminding everyone that they study next to the Shard.

Never mind that the building has absolutely nothing to do with King’s. The way some people talk about it, you’d think their tuition fees included a penthouse on the top floor.

God forbid someone from another London university starts comparing campuses. Suddenly, every Guy’s student is pulling out pictures of The Shard as though they personally contributed to its construction.

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