I’m dating couples to have threesomes, but the guy I’m seeing is jealous

He doesn’t want to have threesomes with me, so I’m trying to make my own fun happen


Welcome to The Tab’s weekly sex and dating advice column, where we’ll be answering your most sordid dilemmas – the ones you wouldn’t even tell the group chat.

I have started dating couples and am having threesomes with them, but the guy I’m seeing is acting really weird and jealous. What should I do?

For context, I’m in an open relationship with this guy and I’ve been seeing him for half a year. I really like him but there’s been a lot of emotional distance between us lately. So in the mean time I’ve been interested in pursuing other things, like dating couples as I really enjoy having threesomes. I find them on dating apps specifically for threesomes. At first I wanted to have threesomes with the guy I was seeing, but he’s been really not keen on it, so I realised I should make my own fun. What should I do? I’m already dating a few couples and not planning on stopping but I really like him too and don’t want to create even more distance between us.

This is all about boundaries. The guy you’re seeing has clearly drawn them, he doesn’t want to have threesomes with you and although he hasn’t told you, it sounds like he’s very uncomfortable with the idea of you having threesomes with other couples. You need to decide in your head how much you like this guy, are you seeking new things because he’s being emotionally distant? Or is he being emotionally distant because you’re doing something that makes him feel uncomfortable?

You need to speak to him and figure out why he’s been AWOL. If it’s something he’s not willing to work on or be honest about and you still want to have threesomes, stop seeing him. If you’re not okay with the idea of never seeing him, then you might have to put the threesomes on pause for a bit. Sorry but it’s true! It seems like you’ve got a choice to make, but no one can make it for you. Good luck.

Do you have a personal sex and dating dilemma you desperately need an answer to? Email tips@thetab.com. And dw, it’s all anonymous! 😉

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