Hey boys! Queefs happen during sex, get over it!
Also known as quiffles, fanny farts and pussy purrs!
A general openness towards sex has certainly become more common, and more men and women (amen!) are talking openly about what they like in the bedroom. However, it's time we spoke about the most avoided sex topic of all – queefing.
For anyone who doesn't know what a queef is, it's an audible release of air from the vagina, typically during or after sexual intercourse.
Of course, queefs don't just happen during sex – I once queefed mid-downward dog at a yoga class when I was 15 and I'm still traumatised. This is hardly surprising – I was young and in a room full of strangers, yet how come, five years later, my mates and I still massively cringe whenever we queef when having sex with our partners?
Quite frankly, I'm over being embarrassed by something I literally can't help and this is why you should get over them too.
They're a natural part of sex and are very common
Firstly, to any lucky girls who may never have experienced queefing or any boys who have no idea what I'm talking about: A queef is simply the release of air from the vagina. It isn't necessarily caused by something entering the vagina, but the repetition of something going in and out (like during foreplay or sex) traps more air and so queefs are more likely. Either way, they're natural and they happen to almost every girl.
They're completely unplanned and take us by surprise too
Not only is there no way of holding in a queef, we literally can't even tell when one's about to happen. They take us by surprise just as much as they take you by surprise, so please don't look at us like we've just shat on you – it's an innocent little queef, calm down.
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Yes, we know they sound like a fart
If the queef sound doesn't kill the mood, the conversation of me saying "that was my vagina I swear" and him saying "don't worry, I believe you and I'm okay with it" certainly will. It just doesn't need to be said. I know it's not the sexiest sound I've ever made but it happened so let's move on.
They NEED to be normalised during one night stands
Queefing in front of someone you're in a relationship with or even with a long-standing sexual partner is half-bearable, but queefing during a one night stand is something that genuinely makes some women anxious when having sex with a new partner.
You don't know how they'll react (if they react badly, they're a terrible person and do not deserve to be having sex with you). But even so, one night stands are intimidating as it is – we want to feel sexy and queefs can really knock our confidence, so this needs to change.
They don't happen to boys so you're really in no position to judge us
Along with UTIs, tearing and thrush (which most boys will never have to experience), queefs are just another annoying part of sex that girls have to deal with. Also, just like the above issues, queefs are a direct response to whatever the guy puts inside us, so boys need to start taking some responsibility.
They have nothing to do with how "tight" you are
Some people (mainly ignorant men) speculate that queefing is a sign of someone with a "wider" vagina because there's more space for air to be released. This is complete bollocks. When air gets pushed inside us, it eventually needs to come out – no matter what size or shape your vagina is, queefs just happen.
Don't be shocked if you queef way after you've finished having sex, this happens
You may think you've achieved a miracle if you manage a whole bonking session queef-free, but be warned, they can happen quite a while after you've finished.
One of my mates had the time to dress herself and get into a serious chat with her boyfriend before her vagina decided it was time to let loose. Another had enough time to get dressed, leave her boyfriend's bedroom and start a conversation with his flat mates before the queef was eventually set free. Queefs have no mercy.
PLEASE don't apologise, don't try and justify them, don't be ashamed
When doing my research on queefs, a lot of articles and blogs have been written on "how to avoid queefs", and after various paragraphs on genetics, queef-inducing sex positions and lube, the overall conclusion is that they can't be prevented, and hearing this shouldn't worry you.
Queefs kill the mood, I think this is unavoidable and that's absolutely fine. Maybe a queef will put you off for a few seconds, make you laugh or even mean you have to stop mid-sex until your vagina has finished, but they certainly shouldn't make you feel anxious or ashamed.
It's difficult to have the "idgaf" attitude, but if your partner has any real understanding of a woman's body, it won't be their first queef experience and they definitely shouldn't have a problem with them. And if they do? Get rid gurl!!!