Girls share their 41 ultimate red flags during sex and they will leave you shook
10. If he won’t go down on you
You've just met him from a dating app, everything is going well and you're already thinking: "Wow, I might see him again!" but then he goes and does something which triggers an internal alarm in your body. And now all you can think about is the last time a guy tried leading your hand down to his boner and how you got the ick, becoming drier than the Sahara desert. Great. Now your fight or flight response is kicking in and you're ready to bolt.
We all have preferences when it comes to dating. And equally, we all have red flags that say "end this date and RUN." So we asked straight girls what their red flags are and these are the 41 they came up with:
1. If he says he isn’t really close to his friends or family
You just have to wonder why…
2. Trying to lead your hand down to his boner
Hi, urm I KNOW it’s there. And I’m going to get to it when I want to get to it.
3. Or saying “I’m really hard”
Thank you, I have eyes and other senses which allowed me to pick up on that.
4. If he keeps going on about his ex on the first date and how nice they were
MAJOR red flag. He’s not over them.
5. Describing all other exes as “crazy”, “psycho”, “mental”, “FUCKING crazy”, “fucking psycho” or “honesty they were SO mental”
Yeah I’m really sure all your exes turned into “little bitches” by no fault of your own. Just own that you were a bit of a twat towards the end.
6. If he tries holding your hand on the first date
You. Don’t. Know. Me. We've. Just. Met.
7. If they tell you what age they lost their virginity the first time you meet (and the conversation had nothing to do with it)
But why are you telling me this?
8. If he tries calling you “just to chat” after you’ve met once
It’s a bit presumptuous to think a) I’m free b) we’re best friends now. Get ready to be an emotional crutch!!!
9. Not asking you any questions, ever
Three hours later and you’ve drank seven gin and tonics whilst they’re still nursing their first. They’re currently on chapter 38 of their life, detailing when they got “totally fucking mortal” with the rugby boys.
10. If he won’t go down on you
Why even waste your time with someone so weak. Their excuse will be something like they don’t know what they doing or they’ve been told they’re not very good it. Or maybe they’re just selfish and say they don’t enjoy it. Either way, it’s all excuses.
11. Constantly talking about wanting to do anal sex during sex
I GET IT, I KNOW YOU WANT TO DO IT, YOU DON’T HAVE TO KEEP TELLING ME.
12. Explaining why he LOVES The US Office and why it’s the best show on television
At some point he’ll patronisingly say “you probably just don’t get it."
13. When you lean in to kiss, his hair is full of little spaghetti hoops
Delicious! Worse still if it’s alphabetti spaghetti that spells out your National Insurance number. Run gal. He’s done too much homework.
14. When he takes off his jacket and he’s actually three toddlers standing on each other’s shoulders
Urgh hate it when this happens x
15. If they ask for a nude too early on
16. If they order for you at the restaurant
I HAVE A MOUTH AND A BRAIN THANK YOU ONE SMALL WHITE WINE PLEASE
17. If they hide their phone from you when on their Camera Roll
“Oop, not for your eyes!” as they scroll through their camera roll means they have several nudes of all the girls they met on Bumble last week.
18. If they call you drunk after the first date
19. If they ask to pay you back £2.30 for that diet coke they bought you
Urmmmm ok, do you take coins?
20. If they say their longest relationship was less than six months
They can’t get past the honeymoon period and are literally just looking to shag you and then drop you for the next girl. They’ll be on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble the entire time. Basically, *commitment issues* are a flag.
21. If they say their hobby is going to the gym
Booooooring. Also, that's like basic health.
22. Flaunting their wealth
Spend it don’t say it!!!!!!
23. Telling stories they think are really classic (but are not)
They’ll all end with “to be honest you kind of had to be there."
24. Making sexual innuendos, constantly
Ok but are we still in school?
25. Assuming you’re going to go back to theirs
???I do have my own place you know???
26. Saying “you’re different from the other girls”
I’m probably not.
27. Saying your name repeatedly during sex, on the same day they met you
Again, didn't we meet like four hours ago??
28. If they follow you on social media hours after the first date
Great, now it's going to make ghosting you even more awkward!
29. Pushing your head down during a blowjob
I don’t have enough room in my mouth to fit the rest of your dick in, unless you want me to vomit all over it like that girl in Sex Education. Your choice!!
30. Presuming all girls want to be choked during sex
31. Talking about how many drugs they do or how fucked they get
We get it, you like doing ket at Boomtown.
32. If he looks constantly out of breath, and when you get him a glass of water he puts his head in it
This is a sign you may be on a date with a fish.
33. Asking you to be quiet because their housemates might hear
You’re not that good hun…
34. Not offering you a drink or anything in the morning but getting it for themselves
I TOO WOULD LIKE A CUP OF TEA!
35. Out on a date and they’re rude to a waiter or waitress
That superiority complex is NEVER a good sign.
36. Saying: “Thank God you’re not a vegetarian” then launching into an anti-vegan tirade
Great, I didn't realise I was dating Piers Morgan.
37. When you tell them something about your life that you posted on social media and they say “I know” but they don’t follow you on social media
Great, so I'm getting murdered tonight!!
38. Talking about how much they earn on a first date
39. When they tell you they love you on the after meeting you three times
40. Red trainers
41. Any negative comments about female body hair
You can only say something if you too, are willing to shave or rip out every hair on your body.