Seven unspoken library rules you need to follow to avoid public humiliation

No, that Brotherton swinging exit does not open automatically


So, we’ve reached week seven of teaching. It’s cold, it’s dark by 4pm and your reading list is way longer than you expected it would be. At this point, dropping out and moving to Spain has already crossed your mind as a potential option at least twice. Okay, fine. Five times.

But you’re not going to do that. You’re going to bravely press ahead through the obstacle course that is university and an essential part of that journey will unfortunately be the library. However, before you pack your bag and head out for a study sesh, there’s a few key things you must know to ensure your library experience is as smooth as possible and that you avoid humiliating yourself or, much worse, pissing off your fellow students.

So, here’s our ultimate guide on how to master your library experience.

DON’T bring unappealing snacks

This includes any food that has the potential to be in any way noisy, smelly or gross to look at. This will inevitably result in some disgusted looks and whispered comments.

Take it from someone who’s friends with a “Big Tuna”.

DO think carefully about where to sit

This is a really important decision. In Brotherton, for example, you’ll need somewhere far enough away from the draughty main entrance in order to keep warm but also right in the path of a potential cross breeze to ensure that you’re cool if the temperature rises.

Channel your inner Sheldon. Also, a secluded place is always a good bet; it’s easier to sneak bites of those forbidden snacks.

DON’T think too much about where to sit

Now I know this one is contradictory but no one also wants to be that weirdo who just walks around and around the circular top level of Brotherton for 10 minutes, scanning every corner like you’re scoping the place out for a heist.

You’ll also end up feeling incredibly disoriented and lose all sense of where you started and where you want to go. This honestly has me questioning my own reality.

DO remember your uni ID card

I can picture you rolling your eyes right now and muttering: “I’m not an idiot! Who forgets their uni card?”

But, honestly, just do a quick double check before you leave because there’s nothing worse than showing up to the library, all ready for a full day of hard-core studying, bag packed and coffee freshly steaming from your travel cup, only to have the mortification of standing in front of the barrier and realising your uni card is on your kitchen table at home.

It’s a modern day tragedy.

DON’T expect the Brotherton exit to open automatically

It’s incredibly embarrassing to be standing at the swinging Brotherton barrier, waiting for it to register your presence.

It’s not a sensor thing. You do have to push it. A queue will have formed behind you, but no one will actually want to say anything, so you could all potentially be stuck there for a very long time.

DO always double check your headphones are actually plugged in or connected

I can’t stress enough how important it is you double and triple check that your headphones are securely connected to your phone or laptop before you even think about hitting play on “Where You Lead” from Gilmore Girls.

Your ego will not recover.

DON’T make too much accidental eye contact

Whether you’re too deep in thought about your essay or just a daydreamer it’s an easy mistake made to hold a stranger’s gaze for just a second too long. It’s just awkward, especially when the accidental eye contact happens one time too many with the same person and gets you wondering if they think you fancy them.

From that point on, trying to focus on your essay will be become futile. You really want to try limit the amount of people this happens with, otherwise every time you return to study you’ll get flashbacks to that awkward time.

Disclaimer: Absolutely none of the points in this article are in any way based on personal experience. At all.