Five things about student life at Warwick that would send a Victorian child into a coma

Warwick university, from an outsider’s point of view, seems like a pretty tame environment. Some may even call it boring. Although opinions may differ on its wildness levels, I can name a few aspects of student life here that would definitely send a Victorian child into a coma.

1. The queues for the U1 and U2

Need I say more? The current queues for the bus to campus almost send 21st century young adults into comas, so imagine a Victorian child experiencing it. The wait, the hope, the despair… All five stages of grief are felt at 5pm on a Tuesday. A real emotional rollercoaster, one only the toughest can endure. It’s a form of heartbreak that borders on ennui. Especially in the mornings, once the bus does arrive, it’s a survival of the fittest. If you live on campus, count your days.

2. Initiations

This one is fairly obvious, and although there is some sort of unwritten rule that students aren’t allowed to talk about their society’s initiation, let’s just say that you don’t have to experience it to sense the craziness of what’s going on. Especially considering most of the rituals happen in broad daylight, for everyone to see (some may say a humiliation ritual?).

As a third year student, I have seen my fair share of sports boys in speedos — against my will, it is important to add. A Victorian child would likely develop some serious condition at the sight of this. I must say, as an external viewer, some of the initiations are very entertaining and really brighten up a boring Thursday.

3. Circling

Most Read

Here’s why the house in Netflix’s No Good Deed looks so incredibly familiar

Lily Phillips shares four gross mistakes she made while sleeping with 100 men in one day

Current record holder for sleeping with most men in a day issues stark warning to Lily Phillips

Circling at Warwick can generally range from being quite tame to borderline illegal. This obviously depends on which society you go with, but generally speaking, if you’re new to it, you’re in for an experience. Whether it’s the volatility of the liquids flying across the room, the questionable games or just the pungent smell of purple, all of these factors combined would definitely send a Victorian child into a coma.

4. The library during exam season

I’m convinced that some people have separation anxiety with the library during exam season. Attempting to find a seat is a quest, it’s harrowing, and will likely shave many valuable years off your life. Simply the act of taking the jam-packed lift to the top floors and having to return back down in shame because you couldn’t find a seat is exhausting enough. I’m sure this isn’t Warwick specific, but it is crazy that a five story building with ample seating capacity is completely full from 8am to 10pm for a month straight. Would definitely throw a Victorian child over the edge.

5. POP!

Whether it be the music, the BO or the toe-stepping, POP would be hell on earth for many people, not just a Victorian child. General aspects of a club do not compliment well the Victorian way of living, sure, but a shirtless Baywatch at midnight and Angels at 2am equates to a guaranteed coma. Good luck waking up from that one!