Ranking the wildest moments from THAT chaotic episode of MAFS UK

Every so often, an episode for MAFS UK comes along and makes the usual chaotic fairy look utterly tame. If you thought a dinner party brawl or a commitment ceremony ocean of tears was a dramatic episode, it’s nothing compared to the one we endured last night. Truly like witnessing a bizarre fever dream, the homestays got weird beyond belief thanks to a saga of dramatics, bizarre animals and an encroachment of ominous mould. What’s happening? Who knows. But here’s a ranking of the wildest moments from that gobsmacking episode of MAFS UK.

Because I’m literally still not over it.

9. The dog licking

Allow it

The Tab HQ was shouting me down about me saying this moment was completely fine and I’d do the same, so I’m including it but ranking it least amongst that MAFS UK episode’s wildest moments. Luke let Amy’s dog lick him all over, is the issue. I personally don’t see one and if I was there I’d let it lick me too. Sue me! Don’t care. Woof.

8. ‘Human’s need exercise too’

A dodgy sex joke that went down like a sack of sh*t. Luke just can’t quit the one liners that make everyone want to curl up an cry, can he? He’s addicted to taking the L, that lad. He has a compulsive need to spout lines like 60 year old fellas might pop up to you on Grindr with. SOS.

7. The showdown with Amy’s pals – aka, the sting operation

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Amy tried to dupe Luke into saying something inappropriate so her mates would know what he’s like – and also tried to get him to say he works in butler in the buff coded employment. It was all a bit weird, but is not ranked higher because this is classic MAFS UK material and has producer and edited interference all over it.

6. Sacha’s wailing

Look, I like Sacha. I had to applaud her very team equality, hashtag slay front door as she stands up for my people (the gays). But I need grown adults to pack it in with all this carry on about saying bye to family for a few weeks. It’s just a bit intense isn’t it! Maybe I can’t relate, but this list would be inaccurate if I didn’t include that suitably extra reaction in it. Because it was wild to me.

5. MOULD-GATE

I would never accuse Amy of having mould in her bedroom, but I am looking respectfully.

It kind of looks like when you watch an A24 horror film and an entity is lurking in the house in the shadowy corner. Either way, a wild moment.

4. Luke launching off his ring

Wow. Would be more impactful if we didn’t know that he literally stays with her til the commitment ceremony tonight, but still. It was a dramatic conclusion to the whole rollercoaster Amy and Luke went on in that episode.

3. The cut in half picture

Luke dug himself one of the most ridiculous holes ever with this, and it’s absolutely one of the wildest moments from the entire MAFS UK episode in this ranking. Because, like… why would you not just take it down? Why on earth would you lie and then think that it would be better to cut the other person out!? How is that normal? Just take it off your fridge!

2. Sacha’s fat cat

Truly the star of the episode, the series, and maybe the entire history of MAFS UK. I am not even a cat person but I am transfixed on this hefty beast. She’s put him on a weight loss journey now, too. I believe in you, pal.

1. Luke saying Amy looked bloated

Just beyond belief. Poor girl. I can’t come down from the chaos of that episode, and ranking the wildest MAFS UK moments from it has just left my brain aching all over again.

We go again tonight, I guess!

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