A round up of all the fame hungry celebs who are tirelessly running the reality TV circuit
When you’ve got Celebs Go Dating at 6pm but Celebrity Karaoke Club at 7pm
Ah, the golden girls and whats-his-names of the reoccurring celebrities on reality TV. You know the ones. Those E-Lister celebs whose faces you recognise, but could you name them? Absolutely not, not for love nor for money. Most of these celebs, for want of a better word, tend to have found fame on reality TV shows of the past decade and have secured their place in the TV circuit hall of fame. From celebrity dating shows, panels, documentaries and the old classic “Most Shocking Celebrity” format shows dug out from Channel 5 each year, let’s pay homage to the E-Lister greats. These are all the celebs who are tirelessly running the reality TV circuit:
Tallia Storm
This fave appeared out of nowhere one day, and ever since TV producers have decided she is the “it” girl to wheel out onto every celeb show ever. Whilst originally becoming famous for her singing talent, scouted by none other than Sir Elton John thank you very much, UK TV screens are giving the public no other choice but to ask: “Who is this girl and why do I recognise her?”. Chances are you have asked yourself this very question as she seems to be on every Z-list celeb show under the sun.
Fair play, the girlie can sing for her supper, but riddle me this – why has she appeared on all the trashy Z-lister TV circuit classics: Celebs Go Dating, Eating with my Ex, All Star Driving School – a modern day classic – and Celebrity Karaoke Club? And why is the Daily Mail so intent on letting me know?
Most entertaining eppearance: Celebs Go Dating
Most terrifying: Celebrity Karaoke Club
Jess Impiazii
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Celebrity Big Brother and hand me down robes? Must be a celebrity reality TV circuit Z-Lister. Miss Impiazii is one of those classic TV circuit faces. You’ll have seen her on shows of yore and would not have blinked an eye as to what she’s doing on there. This is how she puts bread on the table. Original glamour model turned reality TV veteran, Jess has starred on the likes of Ex on the Beach, Celebrity Big Brother, TOWIE, Just Tattoo of Us and, the absolute classic, When Christmas Goes Horribly Wrong, a festive family favourite gifted to us by the evergreen Channel 5.
Most entertaining appearance: Celebrity Big Brother,e Jess crying over a washing up argument is too real for its own good – it’s giving uni cleaning rota flashbacks
Most terrifying appearance: Just Tattoo of Us
Marcel Somerville
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Ah Marcel. The once it boy of Love Island. Those were the days, my friend. It’s lovely he seems to have settled down with his wife and baby, it’s all very sweet. What isn’t so sweet is the occasional TV appearances. The shows are just so toffee-nosed. Your Face or Mine has to be one of the more ropey Z-Lister TV favourites that he’s appeared on.
It makes no odds to me that Marcel has put in a shift on Ian Stirling’s CelebAbility and of course he’s had the obligatory stint on Celebrity Come Dine With Me, one for the highlight reel in all fairness. He’s co-starred with TV circuit alum Charlotte Dawson for Celebrity Bumps and has put his two pence in on Greatest Celebrity Wind-Ups Ever! It’s the ultimate celebrity on reality TV programme of choice.
Most entertaining appearance: Celebrity Come Dine With Me, special shoutout to the burnt chicken wings
Most terrifying appearance: Greatest Celebrity Wind-Ups Ever! Sorry, but anything narrated by Joe Pasquale gives me the fear
Chloe Khan
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The archetypal girlie. Chloe Khan, aka Chloe Mafia, originally rose to fame from her nothing short of iconic X-Factor audition in 2010, where she donned the biggest fake lashes, low rise jeans, ahead of their time, and heeled sneakers, possibly gifted from the Barden Bellas, that had ever graced the X-Factor stage. Whilst a singing career may not have blossomed, the reality TV circuit sure did.
Miss Khan has shown face on classics such as Snog Marry Avoid?, Pod being the original girl boss boots house down, Celebrity Big Brother, Most Shocking Celebrity Moments, Celebrity Sex Pod, Hooked On The Look and Just Tattoo of Us. Her bold looks and risqué fits have secured her place of residency in the TV circuit.
Most entertaining appearance: Snog Marry Avoid? Chloe invented the micro mini skirt, didn’t you know?
Most terrifying appearance: Celebrity Big Brother
Lee Ryan
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Ok what is it with the boys from Blue and slightly sodden career paths? Blue represented the UK in Eurovison in 2011 for goodness sake, surely it’s only up from there? Well, Lee Ryan is the absolute poster boy for Z-Lister TV circuit veterans, he cannot get enough. From his scandalous Celebrity Big Brother stint where he was the season’s love rat and was dingle-dangling two girlies around his little finger at the same time. So much so, that the show brought Casey’s mum, one of the girls involved in the love triangle, into the house, birthing the iconic line “Lee’s mugging you off”. Ah, I miss the reality TV trope of wheeling the mothers in.
Lee has also shown face on Celebrity Come Dine With Me, Celebrity Juice, The Big Reunion Live (I cannot wait for this to be brought back in 10 years time for the One Direction renaissance), Most Haunted, Celebs Go Dating, Strictly Come Dancing and Hell’s Kitchen.
Most entertaining appearance: Celebrity Big Brother
Most terrifying appearance: Strictly Come Dancing
Sandi Bogle
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Sandi and Sandra were the Gogglebox golden girls, a hoot and a half every Friday night. I would love nothing more than a Spoons trip with these two. Credit where credit is due, Sandi has given the TV circuit a good bash. The results: It pains me to say it, but her TV credentials are probably the lowest of the low out of this list, excluding Gogglebox obviously.
A harrowing experience was seeing Sandi on Celebs on the Farm. You know what they say: Never meet your idols and never watch your idols shovel pig poo for a Channel 5 cheque. Other honourable mentions also include Famous and Fighting Crime, Celebrity Big Brother and Celebrity Fit Farm.
Most entertaining appearance: Gogglebox – it’s her only TV appearance that I choose to acknowledge
Most terrifying appearance: The farm one
Charlotte Dawson
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Right, who is this woman and what does she want from my daytime TV viewing? She’s done absolutely all the classics and yet when I woke up this morning, I could not tell you her name. She’s done the classics from Celebs Go Dating, where she had a fling with X-Factor bad boy Frankie Cocozza, Celebs on the Farm, Ex on the Beach, Celebrity Bumps and Five Star Hotel. Hospitality, Farm hand and Beach experience. Get that on the CV, girlie.
Most entertaining appearance: Celebs Go Dating
Most terrifying appearance: Celebs Go Dating
Francesa Farago
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She’s a recent clinger on-er to the old circuit so you will most definitely recognise her face. We know her name but we barely know her story. In the words of Ja’mie Private School Girl: “I don’t wanna be a bitch but you guys are really boring”. This is not an attack on her character, I’m sure she’s a lovely gal and I don’t know her from Adam so you do you, girlie.
However, for such a committed circuit runner, I could not tell you a single thing she’s said during all her TV stints. But, she does create good telly and chaotic moments, from her whirlwind relationship between herself and THTH alumni Harry Jowsey, to turning up to the Love Is Blind: The Reunion as aforementioned Damian’s “friend” and doing shots with him and the ex, Miss Giannina Milady. She’s also starred on Perfect Match and Creative Fund: Fashion Edition.
Most entertaining appearance: Love Is Blind: The Reunion
Most terrifying appearance: Too Hot To Handle
Kerry Katona
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If you don’t know Kerry’s name, please learn it. This really wouldn’t be a celebrity reality TV circuit without her. She ran so the others could sprint. Give her an inch and she will take a mile and somehow will construct a reality TV show around this mile she has taken. From her Atomic Kitten days to her TV career, she’s been going like the clappers and there’s no sign of stopping.
The classics include Celebrity Big Brother, Celebs Go Dating, The Big Reunion and Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins to the more niche stints in Celebrity Cooking School (my gag reflex was activated by the horrific dishes these Z-Listers cheffed up), The Big Celebrity Detox. There’s a whole archive full of Kerry Katona reality shows about her life, love, rehab journey and family. Oh, and she did the classic Dancing on Ice! A go-to for those not famous enough for the bright lights of Strictly.
Most entertaining appearance: Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins
Most terrifying appearance: Celebrity Cooking School
Jessie Wynter
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Love Island alumni Jessie Wynter may best be remembered for her two time appearance on Love Island Australia and Love Island UK. Having made a life for herself in the UK on boyfriend Will’s farm, Jessie is a Love Island legend. Best of all, she has also appeared on the celebrity reality TV show Model Farmers, which saw Jessie and several other models get down and dirty in the Aussie outback. Expect fake tan and cowgirl hats.
Most entertaining appearance: Love Island UK (Jessie and Will forever)
Most terrifying appearance: Love Island Australia
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Featured image credit via Instagram @marcel_rockyb, @francescafarago and @jessiereneewynter.
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