If you use any of these responses on your Hinge profile, you deserve to be single forever

Frankly, I’m starting to believe that Hinge was created just to test everybody’s patience. The people you fancy are locked in your “Standouts” (because, sorry, I’m never sending a man a rose) and everyone else has profiles drier than the Sahara. In the words of Gemma Collins: It’s hell in there— it’s horror.

The most scream-inducing element, though, is how frequently the worst Hinge responses come up again, and again, and again: Like chat up line Groundhog Day where none of the outcomes result in romance—just eternal talking stages with men who invariably want to know your favourite colour. Please, put me out of my misery.

https://twitter.com/caththesoso/status/1349539881949818889?s=20

Enough is very much enough. It’s starting to feel like Hinge is “designed to be deleted” because the chat on the app makes everyone want to gauge their eyes out. So, without further ado, here are the worst prompt responses of all time— and if you use them, you deserve to be single forever. Sorry!

I’m overly competitive about… everything

This is potentially the biggest Hinge ick going. The type of person to yell “I win!” as the cum. Get a life.

I want someone who…doesn’t take themselves too seriously

Straight to jail. Straight. To. Jail.

If I see one more guy on hinge talking about how he’s looking for someone who ‘doesn’t take themselves too seriously’ I’ll scream for a solid 7 minutes

— Lana Del Rat (@iona_stella_) October 19, 2022

I’ll fall for you if…you trip me

Ha. Ha!

This year I really want to…travel more

Give us nothing x

if I see one more hinge man who really wants to travel this year

— dylan nausa-pinnington (@ThatsRickyLewis) June 26, 2023

Typical Sunday…having a roast

You and the rest of Britain, Mark.

I geek out on…The Office

So crazy. So wild.

Who's going to tell these hinge boys that liking the office isn't a personality trait?

— aggressively average(Taylor's version) (@tacopasta4lyf) January 2, 2021

My love language is…sarcasm

Aka, you’re a dick.

if your hinge bio says your love language is sarcasm im plotting your demise

— tank top gay face (@lamchop420) June 18, 2022

Beach or mountains…both

You literally may as well not have answered the question. Delete your account.

no one:

every man on hinge: I'm overly competitive about: everything. beach or mountains? both. childhood celebrity crush? topanga. i know the best spot for: tacos. looking for someone who: can keep up with my sarcasm. let's debate this topic: parks & rec is better than the offi

— secondand sarahnade 💫 (@sarahndipity18) July 10, 2020

I know the best spot in town for…tacos

Ditto for sushi. Being able to read restaurant reviews isn’t a substitute for a personality.

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Let’s debate this topic…pineapple on pizza

When will the suffering end.

Another day another boy on hinge looking for someone “who doesn’t take themselves too seriously” and who’s most controversial opinion is that pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza pic.twitter.com/DDcUymVi5r

— Mia (@miawstrp) February 5, 2023

Give me travel tips for…Asia

The entire continent????

the guys who like me on hinge will have a prompt like “give me travel tips for asia” like all of asia? you want tips for every single place in asia?

— ann :3 (@anntfarm) November 4, 2022

Related stories recommended by the writer:

• Warning: All of the innocent behaviour that could get you banned from Hinge 

• Hinge questions: The best profile answers to get the most matches

• Hinge reveals which questions get the most responses