It’s time to face the facts: This season of The Apprentice is the worst of all time

I am so tired. I’m weary, I’m jaded and I’m cynical. The fatigue I am feeling week in week out from The Apprentice 2023 makes me feel like I’ve just had to personally do a shift with them. The Apprentice used to be my favourite time of year, a perfect 10 weeks of ludicrous behaviours and logos worse than what my two year old could come up with. Twitter was a gold mine after every episode, hope was high and life was worth living. It’s safe to say that after last year, a series high, my hype for this year’s season was astronomical. And yet here I am, seven weeks into the absolute slog that is The Apprentice 2023 declaring it the worst year we’ve ever had. Here’s why.

There is not one iconic candidate in the bunch

I’m sorry if any of them are reading, but no candidate on this year’s The Apprentice is hitting like we need them to hit. Think back on seasons past and you’ll be able to think of an unforgettable icon from each season with ease. Some of them are still riding high on that level of personality today – just look at Thomas Skinner, who’s making a living out of aboshing his way. Luisa Zuissman made a reality TV career for herself, and I laugh thinking about Elizabeth being an icon in the interviews week of her season almost daily.

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Of all the reality TV shows this country launches at us, it’s the chaos of The Apprentice that never really manages to miss when it gives us a new batch of candidates gagging for an investment. But this year? Dead. Deceased. I’d say crickets, but even the crickets have given up and changed the channel. No jokes, no laughs, no authentic fights and no one at all to root for – all in all making The Apprentice 2023 the worst year the show’s ever had.

WEEK 6 – DUBAI 🐫 #TheApprentice #avitv pic.twitter.com/vHBxfkhrDY

— Avi TV (@avitv_) February 9, 2023

Avi is doing his damnedest with his little raps to ensure we all know his name but all that effort and the best he can muster is getting 80 likes on a tweet. It’s woeful. What went wrong?

I’ve never been more cynical of producer meddling

Look, we all know this show is hardly a seriously driven business show – it’s reality TV. There are smoke and mirrors afoot like there is in all forms of reality telly, from Love Island to X Factor. Despite what the show would like you to believe, the same goes for The Apprentice.

Usually I’d say this show was quite good at trying to hide the way it sets up its candidates to fail, but this year seems so determined to make the bunch look stupid at all times that it’s tripping up over itself and resulting in TV that’s impossible to root for. No one is doing well, candidates and teams are just losing worse than others. This show benefits from mixing in success and accidental failure, whereas this year feels like the only outcome for anyone is to look stupid.

I need to cheer them on when they smash it! Otherwise we’re just wasting our time.

The real issue? They will never be last year’s cast

Look, I hate to look backwards rather than forwards, but we didn’t know how good we had it last year. In Drag Race terms, The Apprentice 2022 was the Drag Race UK season two of telly. Every cast member was a stone cold icon. The vibes were off the charts, the memes online were hilarious, the accidental logo disasters felt organic and the cast had this weirdly wholesome bond. Look at this video, and tell me you don’t grin like a crazy person:

@

♬ –

I have never known serotonin like watching that vibes bunch of business bitches dancing around to the tune of a sped up Lights by Ellie Goulding. I’m in their permanent chokehold.

For the love of god, scrap The Apprentice 2023 before it any longer solidifies it as the worst year of the show ever, a stain on an otherwise unblemished hallowed run of great and funny reality telly. BBC should scrap the season and just air the franchise’s best bits every Thursday at 9pm. I think we’re all in agreement that at this point that would be preferable.

The Apprentice continues at 9pm on Thursdays, on BBC One and iPlayer. For all the latest reality TV news, gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

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