Stop saying ‘A lady never tells’: Women need to start embracing their sexuality

I remember being with a group of people in my freshman year dorm lounge, shamelessly asking one another questions to get to know each other. And of course came the question: “How many people have you slept with?” Whether it was meant as a joke or a result of someone’s genuine curiosity, the responses it elicited indirectly provided social commentary on society’s attitudes towards the sexuality of both men and women.

While the guys blatantly answered, girls were more hesitant with their responses. A friend of mine even said: “A lady never tells.” But why is that? Why are we so afraid to claim our sexuality?

Everyone has the right to keep things about themselves private, but doing so should be a choice, not a result of society making you feel ashamed of what you feel.

Human sexuality is very complex

However, it’s simple enough to understand it’s innate for both men and women. Why is it that women are made to feel embarrassed about something so organic?

In the upcoming August issue of Harper’s Bazaar, model and actress Emily Ratajkowski posed nude, all the while discussing growing up and being shamed for her body.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHj0PN6glp-/?taken-by=harpersbazaarus

She said: “I genuinely hit puberty before everyone. So I really was more sexual than my classmates…my teachers, my boyfriends, my parents’ friends didn’t understand how complex it all was. Because of third-wave feminism, I understood that there are all these fucked-up ideals of beauty put on young women; that there was something to be scared about in the entertainment world.”

Unfortunately, there are some people who remain embedded in their dated, sexist attitudes towards women – people like Piers Morgan.

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thanks, but I don't need clothes as much as you need press.

— Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) July 7, 2016

But, Ratajkowski shut him down, and ladies, that’s  precisely how we should respond to anyone who belittles us for being self-assured in ourselves and in our sexualities.

It’s time we embrace our sexuality, too

Even though society finds itself shaming the girls who have, embracing your sexuality doesn’t make you a bad person. It does not make you a “slut,” unless you claim that term for yourself. A woman can be sexual and still be successful in all aspects of her life. She can be sexual and should still be treated with the same amount of respect she would be given otherwise.

Doing so doesn’t necessarily mean we need to be having copious amounts of sex, but it means being confident in yourself and knowing what you want sexually and romantically. Embracing your sexuality means feeling so secure with yourself that you don’t shame others.

You can have sex. Or don’t. It’s all about making choices for yourself based on what you want. It’s the freedom to dress however you want and take any kind of photo for yourself. Ultimately, embracing our sexuality means being closer to loving ourselves, something we should all do.