This is what your choice of York supermarket says about you
If First Bus is reading this, please give us a bus route to Aldi
It’s the evening and you’re hungry. You throw open the cupboard doors expectantly, and it’s at that moment that the horrible realisation dawns on you. In between all your assignments (nights out), you never got a food shop in.
Your stomach growls. Looks like a trip to the shop is in order. You grab your keys and wallet, then dart out of the door to your store of choice – surprisingly, a choice which reveals more about your psyche than this absolute travesty of a situation does. Here’s your definitive guide to what your choice of York supermarket says about you:
Arguably a favourite amongst students nationwide. You love a good bargain and you’ll do anything to get one, whether that’s a two-mile round trip to Fulford Road (seriously, where is that bus route?) or braving the sheer speed of the Aldi cashiers. Even if you’re stood by the till for half an hour packing everything up, it’s all worth it for those sacred dino nuggies. The best place for a student food shop in my humble opinion.
You have absolutely no shame. Whether it’s belting out tunes at Glasshouse karaoke, flirting with every single person in the club, or getting absolutely smashed and drunk texting your ex, you are incapable of embarrassment. Luckily for you, your inability to feel guilt the next day happens to be very handy for shuffling around Asda at 10pm in your pyjamas and dressing gown. Asda just gives me old people vibes and I can’t quite place my finger on why.
You love a good offer. Your Co-Op membership card virtually never leaves your hand as you scoop up deal after deal, and the sense of satisfaction from finding another buy-one-get-one-free never gets old. I would not be surprised if you evolve into a coupon fanatic who brags about the shop having to pay them. And if you shop in Co-Op without any of the deals? Weird behaviour. The Hull Road Co-Op is a bit of a lifesaver in picking up some drinks in a rush on your way to a pres, though.
You are a connoisseur of the ready meal. Your housemates probably leave you passive-aggressive post-it notes about the three whole freezer drawers you’re taking up, but it’s a small price to pay for the safety of just whacking a meal in the oven. After all, you’re still haunted by that time you managed to set the fire alarm off by burning pasta… never again. Its location right next to Aldi does make it good if you want to shake things up every so often though.
You enjoy a bargain as much as the next person, but you can’t quite find the effort to walk all the way to Aldi and back. If the suspense of whether the 67 will actually turn up wasn’t enough, the thrill of never quite knowing what’s going to be in stock (especially in the jumble sale that is the middle aisle) could give any theme park a run for its money. And, as a struggling student with four to 400 deadlines, you will take any thrill you can damn well get.
Marks and Spencer
You’ve still not quite got the hang of the whole adulting thing, but there’s some form of comfort in Colin the Caterpillar and Percy Pig. They remind you of a simpler time, one where your biggest concern was whether your best friend/mortal enemy Jessica would invite you to her eighth birthday party or not.
Or you just shop at the M&S on Lawrence Street because it’s attached to the petrol station, and you’re forever running low on petrol. Convenience, baby!
You either study architecture or you’re just really into towers, because I cannot think of any other reason why you would be frequenting Morrisons. The last time I set foot inside one of these bad boys was probably to buy players for my 2014 World Cup sticker book.
You are the definition of introversion, and in all honesty, laziness. If you shop in Nisa you’re only doing this because it’s a three minute walk away from your campus room. While you wince every time at the tenner you’re paying for three portions of fruit, you’re still prepared to spend extortionate amounts of money if it means you can get in and out as fast as possible.
You dream of living the high life, but you don’t really fancy burning a Waitrose-shaped hole through your bank account. On the other hand, you wouldn’t be caught dead with mud on your shoes from the walk to Aldi, so you’ve got to find a comfortable middle ground. Sainsbury’s it is.
Like Tesco, you’re sort of just there. You’re not many people’s go-to, but you’re fine with that if it means you can keep all the weirdly specific but weirdly tasty branded items to yourself (Ambrosia chocolate custard pots, anyone?). You do wish people would stop talking about the horse thing though. Come on guys, it was ten whole years ago.
You do not exist. No York student regularly shops at Waitrose.