Demonic rituals and relatability: Every theory behind why Taylor Swift ‘can’t dance’

There’ve already been a lot of talking points from Taylor Swift’s Eras tour. But the one dominating the X/Twitter timeline this week is her seeming inability to dance. Though fans will defend her performance to the death, obviously, there is one fairly incriminating clip of Taylor stamping about in a sort of gangly fashion, which you wouldn’t expect to see at a show you paid upwards of £100 for – that’s all I’m saying.

Anyway, as is usually the way with the internet, Taylor Swift can’t be a bad dancer just because she’s, say, uncoordinated. No, theories have emerged about why The Swift can’t yet move like Beyoncé – and these are the most notable conspiracies:

She’s not hiring the right choreographers or trainers to get her moves in order

the choreo??? https://t.co/XYUe28mcqF pic.twitter.com/47dgjl5dru

— 𝙟𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙚 (@JUPINYOURMIND) February 27, 2024

“At this level of stardom in your career there’s really no reason why you’re still bad at dancing,” one person on Twitter/X claimed. “She can literally lock in with the best teachers and be a way better performer within months.”

So, maybe she hasn’t hired the right people yet? Main question: Is Abby Lee Miller busy?

Because bad dancing makes her more relatable and likeable to her audience

If she danced/sung better she wouldn't be as popular… that's what y'all don't seem to get… she's popular with her audience for all the reasons we don't think she should be… 🤣 https://t.co/GJhMQkZSkL

— ZenoTheRuler (@iHoodscholar) February 25, 2024

Taylor still “dances like a teenage girl in her bedroom” and that’s sort of the whole point. Because, many of her fans are teenage girls dancing alone in their bedrooms and when they see Taylor bopping about with minimal style and coordination they feel seen. I suppose.

She’s actually performing some form of demonic satan-worshiping ritual

taylor swift demonic ritual pic.twitter.com/qFsMPCTX9R

— prof 🇵🇸 FREE PALESTINE (@ineffableprof) May 14, 2023

Perhaps the most berserk theory behind why Taylor Swift can’t dance is that she’s not actually trying to dance at all. No, she’s attempting to worship the devil— according to a born-again Christian and former member of Boyzone.

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“You watch one of her shows, and she has two or three different demonic rituals to do with the pentagrams on the ground, to do with all sorts of stuff on her stage,” Shane Lynch claimed to  the Sunday World newspaper.

“But to a lot of people, it’s just art, and that’s how people are seeing it, unfortunately.”

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Featured image credit via Danish Ravi/ZUMA Press Wire/Shutterstock/Twitter