We asked men with navy bed sheets how they sleep at night

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that men with navy bed sheets are alarmingly evil. As the whole of the internet, from Twitter to TikTok, concurs: there is fundamentally nothing scarier than waking up after a night out and opening your eyes to find yourself curled up in blue bedding. It’s a billowing linen flag you’re in a fuck boy’s bedroom. Save yourself! Run for the hills.

When exactly men with navy bed sheets began to harbour a sketchy reputation is hard to say exactly. Although, the Twitter timeline seemed to decide “liars” and “manwhores” opted for navy bedding around 2020. As the lore goes, this cardinal sin usually goes hand in hand with owning one solitary flat-as-a-pancake pillow and no bed frame at all. Terror.

Still, men continue to buy, steal and borrow navy bed sheets and we continue to shag them. So, we caught up with four blue bed boys to find out a bit more about their love lives: Just how often they’re pulling, if they’re actually changing the sheets and, crucially, how they sleep at night.

Jeff, a French party boy who spends a good portion of the year in Marbella says he chose navy bed sheets because he thought they were “class” and “male”. He takes pride in his appearance and rejects the internet’s assumption that navy bedding automatically means there are stains lingering in the dark thread count, specifying he changes his “every two weeks”.

Although Jeff might have once dated around, he claims he’s a different man now. “I’m having sex five times a week but it’s with the same person,” he says. “But the reputation navy bed sheets have is totally true. My brother has navy sheets and he’s a big red flag. I used to sleep in the room behind his and he’s way worse than me— and not with the same girl. But navy sheets can change to a green flag if the guy finds the right woman,” he claims.

Sam*, a filmmaker from London, got his first pair of navy bed sheets when he was decorating his room for uni. “I thought it was chic and different,” he says. “It was very cool to curate your room to look like a bit of an opium den with red lights and Ganesh tapestries.

“To be honest, typically, when boys buy their first pair of sheets for college they want to express themselves but there are only three acceptable manly colours— navy, grey and black,” he adds. “The same reason why all men’s shower gel comes in on of three of those colours.

“Also, not going to lie, I was anticipating lots of gay stuff,” Sam says. “And there’s no point potentially ruining your sheets permanently when you’re at uni and nobody knows what they’re doing,” he adds, specifying he washed his sheets every time he had someone over, which was “a few” times a week— a lot of laundry.

But, like three out of the four men we spoke to, Sam has never even heard of the navy sheet reputation: “Maybe I’m the problem?” he questions. “I was definitely promiscuous at uni. But I did serve a cooked breakfast,” he defends, before doubling back with the aghast realisation: “Oh my god. I AM the problem.”

Mike* didn’t even choose his own bedding, he just stole it from his parents house when he moved out and the navy set of pillow cases and duvet cover were “the newest and the nicest” he could find in the cupboard before setting out on his life on independence.

Like Sam, Mike was blissfully unaware of the vibe his bed sheets were giving off: “I’d say that’s fair,” he admits, specifying he sleeps with people “all the fucking time” (about once a week) and changes the sheets just as often. “The stereotype probably comes from the fact that navy blue is a finance bro colour,” he guesses. “Finance bros get a bad rap because most of them are pricks.”

Tom, a so-called “finance bro” with navy bed sheets, defends he didn’t even choose his bedding himself. “It was my girlfriend and now I’m worried she wants to break up with me,” he mourns as we explain what navy sheets symbolise about a man in 2023. But, even when you’re in love, there’s still the question of slovenliness: “I wash my sheets once…or twice a month,” Tom claims.

Fundamentally, like judging a book by its cover, you can’t really judge a boy by his blue bedding. Some are clean, some are biohazards. Handfuls are hoes, others happily have Hinge deleted. But this variety doesn’t stop the internet from getting the ick anyway. And navy sheets are honestly just the start. Currently, this London tube map duvet cover is the latest to undergo TikTok’s judgement. So, next time you’re in Dunelm, don’t take your decisions lightly. Your dating life legitimately depends on it.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• If you see any of these items in a boy’s room, leave immediately

• If you see any of these items in a boy’s bathroom, run and never look back

• Men are sharing green flags they like to see in women and bestie, I’m scared 

*Names have been changed