The twinning effect: Why we start dressing like men we want to date

Not to panic anyone but there’s a curse, which has befallen womankind. Apparently, any time we like a guy, we’re susceptible to starting to dress like them. The casualwear. The slouchy basics. Case and point: Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet. There’s been a serious vibe shift.

“Why is she starting to look like him,” fans have been commenting over and over on Kylie’s Instagram. “These people switch personalities for the people they date is crazy,” added another. “Kylie in her Timothee era,” claimed a third. “This is so Timothee girlfriend vibe.”

Basic tees paired with jeans, picnic dresses: Since Timmy and Kylie started dating, she’s swapped her basketball court-side, spandex bodysuit, spindly stiletto, Travis Scott girlfriend aesthetic for her “soft girl Timmy era”. Basically, her style is now more comfy— and a lil romantic.

But what’s actually going on here? This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a style metamorphosis take over one of the Kardashian’s vibes. Lest we forget, Kim became a full Yeezy muse for Kanye. Kourtney turned complete emo girlie the second she coupled up with Travis Barker.

And all across TikTok, normal women are doing exactly the same thing. “Dress for the job you want? Nah, dress like the guy you want,” read one video. “POV: everyone questions if you’re into girls because you dress like the men you’re attracted to,” said another. “Me dressing like the guys I want hoping it will make them like me except they think I look like a little boy instead.”

Please, doctor, why are we like this?

“The phenomenon of couples dressing similarly, often referred to as “twinning” or “matching,” says Dr. Ree Langham from Impulse Therapy. “[It] can happen for a variety of reasons including when couples become emotionally connected and their sense of identity becomes fused – by dressing similarly they symbolise a strong sense of togetherness.

“Admiration can also be a factor,” she adds. “Often we want to imitate those we admire and this applies in romantic relationships too, so if you find yourself admiring the fashion sense of a partner you might emulate it as a way of expressing love… those that do twin in terms of fashion, might find it a good way to express their love and strengthen their bond.

However, Dr Alicia Brown from Turning Tides Psychology adds copying the aesthetic of the person you’re with can actually be a way for us to try and feel safe. “Wanting to fit in with those around us is a common survival behaviour as it helps build physical and psychological security,” she says.

“We are hardwired to conform in order to fit in. This is known as normative conformity, which is where we display certain behaviours such as dressing similarly to those around us or expressing similar opinions to them. This increases the likelihood of acceptance and reduces the risk of rejection by others.” So, basically in our minds: baggy jeans = a date secured.

But, even though Kylie, Kourtney and Kim have all got shit for dressing like their partners in the past, with trolls claiming they just “have no personality” there’s really nothing wrong with twinning the guy you like – as long as you remember who you are, too.

“Matching or twinning with your partner can be a fun and positive expression of your relationship, but it should not come at the expense of your individuality,” says Dr. Ree. “It’s not healthy or unhealthy, balance is essential and ultimately, what matters most is that both partners feel comfortable, happy, and respected in their choices regarding fashion and self-expression within the relationship.”

So, there you go girlies. Go dress like James from Hinge if you really want to x

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Let’s call the backlash to Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet what it is – sexist 

• Range Rovers and LA meet ups: Inside Kylie Jenner and Timothee Chalamet’s ‘casual’ dating timeline 

• Right, this is why everyone is furious with Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis right now 

Featured image credit via TikTok and Instagram.