Girls are sharing what they did to their old Barbies and I won’t be sleeping tonight

With the hacked-off hair, constantly in the splits and covered in scribbles, Kate McKinnon as “Weird Barbie” perfectly captured some of the absolute ABUSE we put our poor Barbies through as kids in the Barbie Movie.

With the realisation that what we do to our Barbies in the real world actually affects how the Barbies look in Barbie Land, girls on TikTok are sharing how they mutilated their old Barbies and honestly, they’re so cursed. I’m seriously going to need a Barbie sequel just to see some of these absolute creatures crawling about next to Margot Robbie.

The Lorax Barbie

I genuinely have so many questions here. Mainly just why? Secondly, how long did this take? Why the paper maché? And just why again?

Barbie X Jurassic Park?

The fact that this one is soundtracked to the most gut-wrenching audio I’ve ever heard makes it ten times funnier.

The stuff of nightmares

Genuinely imagine seeing this creep toward you in Barbie Land. I’ve actually had Kenough.

‘Hi Eminem!’

Just in case the star-studded cast of Barbie wasn’t enough here we’ve got an Eminem Barbie. The real slim Barbie.

Monster Kenergy

This’s Barbie’s fuelled up on Monster and feeling the kenergy big time.

Red Bull Barbie

Sticking on the theme of energy drinks, I’m really not sure why this is a thing. I genuinely have no words. This poor Barbie.

Yummy Barbie

Now I’m thinking of all the poor Barbies I’ve seen wedged into a cake and dripped on by candle wax.

Who did this to her?

This Barbie defies science but at least her hair’s done.

Unicorn Barbie?

“Take my hand”, which one? It’s the dried glue dripping off her face for me.

Bird Barbie

Screaming at the bird feathers. Has Mattel thought about brining out a line of Barbie birds? Because judging on this I think they’d do so well.

Barbie: American Horror Story

Now these Barbies are truly the ones of nightmares. The spikes? The blood? Absolutely terrifying.

At least she’s original?

Enjoying the tiny babies just as a cute background. I’m imagining “Hi Barbie!” *growling noises. So cursed.

Modern Art

It’s modern art, nothing else to it. But what did these poor Barbies do to deserve this I need to know? “What was I made for?” indeed.

Not the tail

The tail is seriously disturbing. And the borrowed legs? Horror!

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• Just 29 signs that you’re definitely living in a Mojo Dojo Casa *Uni* House

• All the Barbie stereotypes you’re guaranteed to meet in your first year of university

• Take this quiz and we’ll tell you which Ken from the Barbie film shares your Kenergy