Take this quiz and we’ll clarify just how thirsty you are

It’s been over three weeks now and everyone is going a little bit mad. Baking banana bread and reading books just isn’t quite scratching the itch anymore and we need a different kind of satisfaction. With the prospect of release seeming like it’s going to be another three weeks away, that post lockdown shag session you had been imagining is slipping through your fingers yet again. Horniness is at an all time high and you can feel it all throughout your body, all the time. Alexa, is blue balls more of a mental state than an actual phenomenon? And if it is, does the whole country have it now? Do I?

Only one way to find out. Test yourself. Maybe you’re handling it fairly well and thirst levels are low – you’re well satiated. Or maybe you’ve become a frantic, wanking, nude sending machine and you literally can’t go three seconds without thinking of the next time you get to touch someone else. The chair in your living room is starting to look real sexy and GOD WE NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS LOCKDOWN. Just take the quiz. I’m gonna. go take a closer look at this chair… uh… I mean… get a snack. Bye.

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• A guide to great phone sex while you’re self-isolating and desperately horny

• These 21 memes are painfully relatable if you’re already horny two days into isolation

• There are 11 lockdown personalities and I’m about to tell you which one you are