The messages Michelle Carter sent to her boyfriend before he died

‘Stop thinking and just do it’


Michelle Carter is the focus of a new true-crime documentary, I Love You, Now Die. She is currently serving a 15-month prison sentence for involuntary manslaughter after she persuaded her boyfriend, Conrad Roy, to take his own life during a series of texts.

The messages sent between Michelle and Conrad made up a huge part of her court trial.

TW: Sensitive content and details of suicide. 

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I Love You, Now Die documentary

On July 12th 2014 Conrad Roy died of carbon monoxide poisoning in his pickup truck. Police then found messages on his phone from his girlfriend, 17-year-old Michelle Carter, that seemed to encourage him to take his life.

Prosecutors alleged Carter engaged in a “sick game of life and death,” triggering the 18-year-old’s suicide. One of the messages she sent him read: “Stop thinking and just do it”.  Other messages included: “Hang yourself, jump off a building, stab yourself”, “Just park your car and sit there and it will take, like, 20 minutes. It’s not a big deal” and “You just have to do it… I don’t get why you aren’t.”

She pleaded not guilty, but the prosecution claimed she should still be liable for involuntary manslaughter. They said the constant texts constituted “wanton or reckless conduct” resulting in an unlawful death. Michelle Carter is currently serving a 15-month prison sentence.

Here are the messages that were used in court against Michelle Carter, sent between her and Conrad Roy.

These are the messages sent between Michelle and Conrad, eight days before he took his life:

The following texts were sent on July 5th 2014 between 8.36am and 2.16pm. This was eight days before Conrad Roy died.

Conrad: hi

Michelle: Hi

Conrad: what’s up 🙂

Michelle: Just woke up you? Why do you seem happy haha

Conrad: Because tonight’s the night.

Michelle: You said that last night and the night before

Conrad: Haha I know but it has to be tonight. I’ll be all alone

Conrad: mom and Brian are sleeping over friends house in Rhode Island

Michelle: So yeah tonight seems like the perfect night

Michelle: Like you have all night to try different things

Conrad: yes lol

Michelle: Do you think tonight really is the night you’re gonna do it?

Conrad: I think

Michelle: Theres a difference between saying “I’m gonna try to commit suicide” and “I am going to commit suicide”.

Conrad: well I’m gonna try

Michelle: So you don’t want it bad enough. You already know you’re gonna fail because a part of you wants to fail

Michelle: Just saying

Conrad: ya

Michelle: Ya what?

Conrad: it’s just hard Michelle

Michelle: I know it is

Conrad Roy didn’t take his life that day, but he would eight days later.

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Conrad Roy, via HBO / Sky

The following shows messages exchanged between July 5th and July 12th 2014:

In the days before Conrad Roy took his life, the following messages were also exchanged between him and Michelle:

Michelle: I think your parents know you’re in a really bad place. I’m not saying they want you to do it but I honestly feel like they can accept it.

They know there is nothing they can do. They’ve tried helping. Everyone’s tried, but there is a point that comes where there isn’t anything anyone can do to save you, not even yourself.

And you’ve hit that point and I think your parents know you’ve hit that point.

You said your mom saw a suicide thing on your computer and she didn’t say anything. I think she knows it’s on your mind and she’s prepared for it.

Everyone will be sad for a while but they will get over it and move on. They won’t be in depression. I won’t let that happen. They know how sad you are, and they know that you are doing this to be happy and I think they will understand and accept it. They will always carry you in their hearts.

Conrad: Aww. Thank you, Michelle.

Michelle: They will move on for you because they know that’s what you would have wanted. They know you wouldn’t want them to be sad and depressed and be angry and guilty. They know you want them to live their lives and be happy. So they will for you. You’re right. You need to stop thinking about this and just do it because over turning always kills, over thinking.

Conrad: Yeah, it does. I’ve been thinking about it for too long.

Michelle: Always smile, and, yeah, you just have to do it. You have everything you need. There is no way you can fail. Tonight is the night. It’s now or never.

§

Michelle: If you don’t think about it, you won’t think about failing. You’ll just do it and then thinking you’ll succeed.

Conrad: Right. That’s what I’m talking about. I read so much about failed attempts gone wrong that it’s gotten me discouraged.

Michelle: Yeah, exactly, so stop doing that. There is more success than there are failures.

Conrad: Are you kidding me?

Michelle: You have to look at it that way and people only fail because they have the same mindset as you. Thinking they’ll fail.

Conrad: I really want to believe you.

Michelle: Why don’t you.

Michelle: You can’t think about it. You just have to do it. You said you were gonna do it. Like I don’t get why you aren’t.

Conrad: I don’t get it either. I don’t know.

Michelle: So I guess you aren’t gonna do it then. All that for nothing. I’m just confused. Like you were so ready and determined.

Conrad: I am gonna eventually. I really don’t know what I’m waiting for but I have everything lined up.

§

Michelle: Well… I guess just because you always say you are gonna do it but you don’t, but last night I know you really wanted to do it and I’m not mad. Well, I mean, kind of, I guess, just because you always say you’re gonna do it… but you don’t but last night I knew you really wanted to and I’m not mad.

Michelle: You’re not joking about this or bullshitting me, right? … I just want to make sure you’re being serious. Like I know you are, but I don’t know. You always say you’re gonna do it, but you never do. I just want to make sure tonight is the real thing.

§

Michelle: Don’t do it in the driveway. You will be easily found. … Find a spot.

Conrad: I don’t know. I’m thinking a public place. If I go somewhere private they may call cops.

Michelle: Well, then someone will notice you.

Michelle: Do you think you will get caught? I mean, it only takes 30 minutes; right?

Michelle: Just park your car and sit there and it will take, like, 20 minutes. It’s not a big deal.

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Michelle Carter in court

These messages were sent on the morning of July 12th:

Michelle: Are you going to do it today?

Conrad: Yes.

Michelle: Like in the day time?

Conrad: Should I?

Michelle: Yeah, it’s less suspicious. You won’t think about it as much and you’ll get it over with instead of wait until the night.

Conrad: Yeah then I will. Like where? Like I could go in any enclosed area.

Michelle: Go in your truck and drive in a parking lot somewhere, to a park or something. Do it like early. Do it now, like early.

Conrad: Like, why am I so hesitant lately. Like two weeks ago I was willing to try everything and now I’m worse, really bad, and I’m LOL not following through. It’s eating me inside.

Michelle: You’re so hesitant because you keeping over thinking it and keep pushing it off. You just need to do it, Conrad. The more you push it off, the more it will eat at you. You’re ready and prepared. All you have to do is turn the generator on and you will be free and happy. No more pushing it off. No more waiting.

Conrad: You’re right.

Conrad: Okay. I’m gonna do it today.

Michelle: You promise?

Conrad: I promise, babe. I have to now.

Michelle: Like right now?

Conrad: Where do I go?

Michelle: And you can’t break a promise. And just go in a quiet parking lot or something.

§

Michelle: Are you gonna do it now?

Conrad: I just don’t know how to leave them, you know.

Michelle: Say you’re gonna go to the store or something

Conrad: Like, I want them to know that I love them.

Michelle: They know. That’s the one thing they definitely know. You’re over thinking.

Conrad: I know I’m over thinking. I’ve been over thinking for a while now.

Michelle: I know. You jut have to do it like you said. Are you gonna do it now?

Conrad: I still haven’t left yet, ha ha

Michelle: Why?

Conrad: Leaving now.

Michelle: Okay. You can do this.

Conrad: Okay. I’m almost there.

 

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Michelle Carter in court

Michelle Carter’s lawyers claimed evidence against her had been “cherry picked”. An additional text sent by Carter, reads: “I’m not giving up on you, it’s just every time I try to help you don’t listen.”

She also reportedly told Conrad to get help for his suicidal thoughts: “You aren’t gonna get better on your own… you need professional help…” Her lawyers said she suggested her and Conrad go to counselling at the same time: “We can go together so we will be there for each other.”

The case of Michelle Carter is currently being explored in a true crime documentary by HBO which is also available on Sky Crime and Now TV. “I Love You, Now Die”, explores the real life events – looking at Michelle’s court case and featuring interviews from those closest to the story.

The Tab chose to omit some messages due to their content.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Michelle Carter: The teenager who persuaded her boyfriend to take his life

• There’s a new true crime documentary about the Michelle Carter case

• ‘It wasn’t against my will or anything’: How a rape case built over two years fell apart with a single text