RHOBH’s Erika Jayne reveals the one thing that attracted her to new man John ‘Shrek’ McPhee
She's literally smitten
Erika Jayne is officially in her “soft life, slower pace” dating era, and honestly, it suits her.
After years of headline-heavy chaos and keeping her private life locked down tighter than a Birkin in a vault, the RHOBH star has quietly been getting to know a new guy: John “Shrek” McPhee.
The pairing is unexpected, which is exactly why people can’t stop talking about it. And now Erika’s finally spilling a little more, including the one quality that made her look twice.
Erika confirmed her romance back in July 2025
Erika Jayne opens up about her new relationship and why she wants to keep it private. “I like him and I know how bad these [shows] are for your relationship. I’ve gone through too much. I would like to keep that relationship special.” Source: Us Weekly #RHOBH pic.twitter.com/QZmaufPhCt
— Bye Wig Hello Drama (@HousewivesHub) January 4, 2026
If you remember the paparazzi photos of Erika holding hands with a man in Los Angeles, that was the moment the internet went full detective mode.
Soon after, Erika addressed it on her Diamonds in the Rough podcast: she’d met someone, they’d gone on two dates, and then tried to do something super normal, a manicure-pedicure, when the pics were taken.
Erika was pretty candid that the “private” part disappearing overnight wasn’t exactly her favourite. She said what felt like a sweet, low-key moment “ended up everywhere,” but that it’s the trade-off that comes with being famous.
One detail she made clear from the start: John doesn’t live in Los Angeles, which immediately explains how she’s managed to keep this relationship feeling a bit more protected and… ‘normal’.
Who exactly is John “Shrek” McPhee?
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First: yes, the nickname is real. John McPhee is widely known as “Shrek,” and he’s also associated with the moniker “Sheriff of Baghdad” through his personal brand and business.
As for the basics, he’s a retired US Army special operations sergeant major.
He’s also been connected to Heidi Montag’s world, including working security for her, which becomes very relevant to Erika’s meet-cute.
And if you love a wild Bravo-adjacent crossover, Erika has said John was in London with Spencer Pratt when they met. Yes. He’s besties with that Spencer Pratt.
Erika dishes on what really attracted her
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So what was it that hooked Erika? Not the nickname, not the headlines, it was the energy.
Speaking to Us Weekly, Erika described John as “calm” and “centered,” and said she needs to feel comfortable and peaceful after everything she’s been through.
She’s also said there were more attractive traits to John: “I like people who are confident and intelligent. I was married to somebody who was really good at their job for a long time…”
And honestly, the most telling compliment she keeps repeating is also the simplest: he’s a “nice man,” and she feels comfortable with him, comfortable enough to hold his hand in public, even if that turned into a whole thing!
This is where it gets oddly wholesome. Erika said she first noticed John after seeing him on podcasts and finding him interesting, then later spotted him backstage in London at the Mighty Hoopla festival.
In true Pretty Mess fashion, she didn’t wait around. She walked up, introduced herself, and even told him she was a fan.
And if you’re wondering where things stand now… Erika told Bravo in December 2025 that everything was going great, she’d been spending the holidays with him, and that they’d been dating for about six months.
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