Demeaning remarks to gloating: Therapist outlines Dave from Love Is Blind’s 12 ‘alarming’ traits

I would say that Dave Bettenburg and Lauren O’Brien are the marmite couple of Love Is Blind but that would suggest that some people find them pleasurable to watch. That just isn’t the case.

With every passing episode, people grow more and more frustrated with Lauren and Dave’s relationship as the couple grapples with the friends-with-benefits drama and Dave’s particular brand of humour. It’s basically just negging.

Though they have since defended their engagement, I’m guessing the controversy will continue to heat up as we meet Dave’s infamous sister before the wedding.

Most people seem to already know why they were turned off by Dave – who claimed he was going into Love Is Blind to alter his “shallow” perceptions – but now a psychotherapist has broken down the specific traits that might be triggering us. Buckle in, it’s super juicy.

Dave from Love Is Blind’s style of humour is ‘demeaning’

San Diego therapist Leah Aguirre, who has over 10 years of experience helping people with childhood trauma and abusive relationships, outlined some of Dave’s triggering personality traits in a new piece for Psychology Today.

“From the get-go, Dave uses ‘humour’ to put down the women he is dating. He jokes about their age and no longer being ‘attractive’ after 30. He asks, ‘What’s wrong with you’ – suggesting that a woman’s singleness indicates defectiveness. This isn’t cute or silly—it’s demeaning,” she penned.

Leah’s second point was Dave positioning himself as a “faux feminist” by constantly talking about his sister whilst also making “misogynistic” comments about Lauren’s sexual history to make her feel “unworthy and less-than.”

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On her third point, the therapist explained: “He presents as superior and regularly gloats about the type of women he has dated before this social experiment. He makes multiple backhanded compliments and continues to reference how his partner is different than previous ones.”

She also branded him a hypocrite for his position on Lauren’s history

This compilation of every time Dave talked about his sister on Love Is Blind is a minute and a half long… pic.twitter.com/M1R6OmuiT8

— Netflix (@netflix) February 22, 2025

Dave and Lauren have been dealing with the fallout from her brief and unserious fling with David Nides who recently told us why he made a Love Is Blind headshot. Despite his own history, Dave can’t move on from Lauren’s earlier connections.

“He is highly critical of his partner’s past relationship and dating history. This is especially infuriating because he acknowledged that he too was living a single life and had his own share of more casual interactions with women (i.e. talked/flirted with women at bars prior to the show),” she wrote for the publication.

Moving on, Leah said that Dave zeroes in on specific idiosyncrasies like Lauren being a light sleeper as a way to paint them as “huge flaws.” This seems to match what people are saying on Reddit about him purposefully tanking the relationship.

“He appears to be extremely rigid in his thinking and unwilling to consider alternative perspectives and thoughts that don’t align with his thoughts and worldview,” she added.

Does Love Is Blind’s Dave struggle with empathy? The therapist thinks so

Next, Leah argued that Dave struggles with empathy because he’s constantly “dismissive of his partner’s feelings and experiences” like “her thoughts and opinions are less valid and significant to his and, therefore, have less weight.”

“He presents as competitive in conversations. He doesn’t seem to make an honest effort to truly listen or understand his partner and problem-solve,” was point number eight.

Leah also noticed how Lauren seemed to be “continuously crying” during conversations, and yet, Dave has not altered his behaviour to better support his fiance.

In the final two “alarming” traits, she called out Dave questioning Lauren’s character and integrity whilst also affirming that he loves her.

“There seems to be a lack of sincerity,” Leah added. “One moment he is saying he wants to develop a deep connection and then next he is making slights and commenting on how Laurent isn’t the type of person he would typically date.”

Love Is Blind is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook. 

Featured image credit: Netflix