Six things guaranteed to happen on a Nottingham night out

As a seasoned university student, it is impossible to avoid noticing the constant clichés that will occur on almost every night out in Notts.

So while I catch you mid-doom scroll either after a long day at uni, sitting at the library, or patiently waiting for the number 35 to arrive on time; I thought I would collate some highlights to put subtle smile on your face.

So without further ado, here are six relatable incidents that you would have most likely encountered on a night out as a Notts student.

Let’s set the scene.

It’s 8:30pm. Well, maybe 9:12pm, if you’re a girl who said: “Pres start at eight”, when in actual reality you haven’t showered, you are waiting for your housemate to kindly donate her Airwrap, while you frantically looking through your other housemates’ wardrobes searching for that top they wore to that crisis-all-nighter last term.

Boys are just waiting for the girls, and a couple of Stella’s deep.

Squadka in hand. Speaker on blast. Chatting to a mix of the people you spend 24/7 of your day with, and those who are the regular invitees to your group’s pres.

You are all laughing, shouting, refilling and (probably) spilling vodka into either your buxton water bottle from last Wednesday or a NUCO snow sports cup. Then…

The Uber dash 

Suddenly, as if a scene from Cinderella, the clock strikes 10:53pm, and it’s all hands-on deck to getting an Uber to make your 11pm ticket.

Now regardless of if you’re going to Crisis, Ocean Wednesday, Shapes or Ocean Fridays we all know what is going to happen next.

Most Read

Omg, a MAFS UK scandal has erupted as 2023 bride says she got with Kieran after filming!

Vanessa reveals heartbreaking reason she unexpectedly quit The Ultimatum with Dave

Lily Phillips shares four gross mistakes she made while sleeping with 100 men in one day

The arrival dilemma

You arrive at the club. Well half of you do. You agree to meet at the same spot.

Drink or toilet?

If you go to bar, you are veteran.

You know to secure your drink before it gets too busy.

You know that from the moment your friends walk in there, the frantic rush to the toilet, the bar, or the attempt to find that person who mentioned they also had a ticket for tonight, begins.

The dance floor quest

It will probably take you roughly 30 mins to an hour to get settled, wrestle through the freshers to find a spot on dance floor, gather everyone like a teacher on school trip, drink in hand, ready to boogie the night away.

Oh? You think it would be that simple?

Smokers? Remember that faint location?

The maker and breakers of all nights. The place where you can find long lost friends, make new ones and catch a breath of some… “fresh” air?

I can guarantee you, there will be at least one fallen solider after that expedition. Maybe you are the unfortunate victim.

The group chase

Either way, you and your mates will be sending Snapchats, blue and green messages, and even dms; trying to locate the other for the rest of the night.

At the end of the day, you know as well as anyone else it’s down to the hands of God to reunite the original group.

The midnight decision

Regardless, a few (spilt) drinks later, it’s time for the crux of the night. To food or not to food?

Now you have either gone home already for the following reasons:

• You have a 9am.
• You are shattered.
• You have a boyfriend or girlfriend to go home to.
• You are a bit too intoxicated.
• You are looking after *said* intoxicated friend.
• You are just always that friend that illusively dips.

For those of you left standing, angel row awaits!

The post-night victory

Here, are you met by the culinary delights of Mega Munch, Maccies and Taco Bell. At this point, you will also probably bump into that rogue friend from halls, or that missing friend from earlier.

Surrounded by sweat, noise and security guards (that take their job very seriously), you struggle to ascertain your body temperature.

Then, as if you have been announced for an academy award, you triumphantly secure your order from the cries of “boss”.

To round off another glorious night in Notts, you proceed to the afters or a debrief; content with carbs in hand, either in the comfort of an Uber, or by braving the trek down Derby Road.