Just 29 signs that you’re definitely living in a Mojo Dojo Casa *Uni* House

It’s been over a week since Barbie’s release and a lot has stayed on my mind; the costumes, the choreography, John Cena dressed as a mermaid. The most memorable thing of all though? The Mojo Dojo Casa House. For those unaware of the film, Ken’s character becomes a bit rebellious. He’s tired of being overlooked by Barbie all the time and so he decides to do the worst thing imaginable – mess with the dreamhouse.

Picture unlimited beer, a western wardrobe and a rather strange obsession with horses. Ken’s bachelor pad has Frat written all over. It’s basically a playground for juiced-up gym bros and cowboy wannabes. Terrifying stuff, I agree. Perhaps what’s even more terrifying though, is the fact we all know a house similar to this. They may be down the road from you, or worse- right next door. Either way, it’s probably best to identify a Mojo Dojo Casa Uni House before it’s too late.

Here are 29 signs you’re living in a Mojo Dojo Casa Uni House:

1. You own a mini fridge, because one just isn’t Kenough

2. Everyday is Leg Day at the Mojo Dojo

3. You say you’re “rusty” on the guitar but then proceed to play The A-Team chord for chord  

via Warner Brothers

4. You refuse to drink out of anything other than a My Protein water bottle (specifically the one with that weird coil in the middle)

5. You tell endless mum jokes but then get offended if yours is ever mentioned

6. Nothing is off limits unless it’s a discussion about height

7. You throw a fit if someone steals even the smallest scoop of your whey

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8. You don’t own any proper furniture. Instead, your living room consists of two camping chairs and a broken beanbag

9. You’ll find any excuse to barbecue or use a pair of tongs

10. You’re obsessed with watching Quintin Tarantino films at some ungodly hour of the morning

11. Whilst you will never admit it, you can’t actually play chess but you have a set anyway just to prove you’re intellectually superior

12. Nobody in the house owns a hoover because that would require work and a level of patience you don’t have

13. You bought decks with the hope of becoming the new Joel Corry but in the words of Scotty T, you “can’t even mix a vodka coke”

14. You own one white sheet which never gets washed unless your mum’s up visiting

15. You insist on fixing any damages yourself because if you weren’t at uni, you “would’ve been a builder”

16. You get giddy when someone spots your name and number on the communal shag chart

17. You think a penis-shaped bottle opener is the funniest thing on earth

18. Red is your favourite colour LEDs, probably because it’s the same colour as your flags

19. The whole house has matching Connell chains even though you’ve never watched Normal People in your life

20. You thought it was acceptable to dress up a Jeffrey Dahmer for halloween last year (it’s not, by the way)

21. There’s a portable pull up bar for everyone to use

22. “Fridays are for the boys” is your equivalent of Live, Love, Laugh

23. You insist on a weekly poker night even though you complain about the rules and being broke 24/7

24. You always plan on cooking a Sunday roast but then remember no one in the house can dish up anything besides pesto pasta

25. Your idea of wholesome is watching all three Jackass films and then trying to recreate the stunts

26. You have either an England flag or a New York skyline above your headboard

27. You truly believe that both Andrew Tate is just “misunderstood”

28. There hasn’t been any toilet roll for two days but you refuse to buy any because it’s not your turn

29. You wear a “Kiss the Chef” apron unironically

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