Everyone’s rinsing this awful advert about going back to work in the office

Do you miss the office? Of course you don’t, but there’s a new advert on the underground trying to convince you that you do. The ad lists 20 things about office life, each of them more absurd and objectively awful than the last. Absolutely no one misses a single one of them and, for quite obvious reasons, the good people of Twitter are roasting the living daylights out of the advert.

An absolute highlight of the advert is: “Proper bants. The boss’s jokes. Office gossip.” I would love to hear the bants in the office of the person who wrote this, because I 100 per cent guarantee you it’s on par with Jay from The Inbetweeners. No boss’s joke has ever been funny, in the history of this universe. Even if I never have to fake-laugh at a boss’s terrible joke again, it will be too soon. It also describes your colleagues as “your second family”, which genuinely could not be further from the truth.

The advert then goes on to list some absolutely inane things, so boring they bring a tear to my eye: “Receptionists. Taking a lift. Plastic plants. Those weird carpets.” I don’t mean to alarm you, but if you do miss any of these things I really think you should go and see your GP.

The final line is definitely the only good thing about working in an office, and perhaps the only thing I actually miss: “Leaving early for a cheeky afternoon in the sun.” I’m choosing look past the completely unacceptable use of the word “cheeky”, because it’s honestly one of the least offensive parts of the entire thing.

https://twitter.com/helloalegria/status/1301290315593191426

If you’re working from home, you’re definitely still doing most of the things in the advert, and all of them are still horrible. “Hearing an alarm”? Mine goes off at half seven every day and just hearing the first note of it makes me feel physically sick. “CCing. BCCing. Accidentally replying-all”? Anyone with a phone still gets emails, hun, even though I wish I didn’t.

“Putting on a tie. Carrying a handbag”? I hate to break it to the creator of this advert, but shockingly you don’t actually have to be inside an office to do either of these things. Whoever wrote it is definitely a man and doesn’t realise that carrying a handbag is a) not something to get excited about, and b) something women do literally every single time they leave the house.

Here’s what everyone had to say about the ridiculous underground advert about going back to work in the office:

1. I hear the bants is top quality

i am gagging to hear said bants of the ad agency behind this https://t.co/bEnmIgFzyW

— Anna Cafolla (@AnnaCafolla) September 3, 2020

2. Sadness. Shame

via Twitter

3. I’m not in one of these and now I’m pretty sure my whole office hates me

via Twitter

4. Feel like pure shit just want the carpet back

We deserve to live in a better dystopia. Who is longing for alarms and ties and carpets? https://t.co/HCGtYTdkfi

— Carl Anka is on leave (@Ankaman616) September 3, 2020

5. Hard pass

veto https://t.co/DDaBtY67Bw

— Tom Haynes (@T_Haynesy) September 3, 2020

6. Okay but now I want a tattoo of the Pret star

hearing an alarm. screaming into the abyss. throwing bread in tupperware & pretending it's a packed lunch. eating your bread by 10 and having to spend £8.76 in Pret. pledging your soul to the Pret. joining a cult in the Pret. getting the little Pret star tattooed on your neck https://t.co/5EvKJog1v1

— lex croucher ✨ (@lexcroucher) September 3, 2020

7. I agree wholeheartedly

I can confirm I do not like any of these things bar the 'leaving'. https://t.co/F8cu0eupqw

— Jem Collins (@Jem_Collins) September 3, 2020

8. Oi oiii

https://twitter.com/bethmayashley/status/1301443343315070976

9. It’s the best part of any day

It rules that British office cukture is so depressing, their attempt to coax people back with a list of "ironically shit" things about work is so morbidly horrible they had to stick "leaving early" at the end. https://t.co/hJxQetyN7G

— The author, Séamas O'Reilly (@shockproofbeats) September 3, 2020

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10. A cinematic masterpiece

via Twitter

11. ‘I did a creative writing module last year, actually‘

“Caffeine-filled air” which instapoet wrote this https://t.co/m8QV2wSD9f

— Jenny Constable (@JennyLConstable) September 3, 2020

12. Sent my first email aged 7

I was born in Carlisle, but I was made in the Royal Navy https://t.co/fiSDekHD33

— hannah louise (@hannahlouisef) September 3, 2020

13. Gotta get up early to take my antibiotics

https://twitter.com/eshaanakbar/status/1301454050483990530

14. Bants is, of course, key part of the Communist Manifesto

Marx always knew capitalism would prevail with *checks notes* “proper bantz”. https://t.co/2JV0huJEB6

— Frances Ryan (@DrFrancesRyan) September 3, 2020

15. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, GRETCHEN

Stop trying to make going to the office happen https://t.co/wk1fFjP8Sl

— Nafisa Bakkar (@NafisaBakkar) September 3, 2020

16. I will not hesitate to call 999 on you

https://twitter.com/Jonnyishh/status/1301416144490897408

17. Surely, it has to be

This is an advert for working from home, surely. https://t.co/XUo4DLsVBY

— Chris Dillow (@CJFDillow) September 3, 2020

18. Love a buzzword, me

https://twitter.com/emmahopeall/status/1301433627289554944

19. Be there in five!!!

Guys I was at home working from home in my house when I saw this ad on the tube and it made me want to get back in the office https://t.co/BmQRyOdCx2

— Dr Xand van Tulleken 🏳️‍🌈 (@xandvt) September 3, 2020

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