BREAKING (and entering): Corpus Playroom Burgled

A break in of ENRON-ormous importance.

and

Assault on Parker’s Piece last night at 10.30pm

Two men have been arrested on suspicion of causing grievous bodily harm (GBH)

Former Pembroke Master warns of “populist uprising” in the face of EU migration crisis

Dearlove is not being a dear in his statements about refugees.

Cambridge students could face a rise in tuition fees in 2017

As it’s been a whole four years since the government last fucked us, it seemed about time.

Tit Hall change June Event theme after cultural appropriation controversy

Tokyo to Kyoto transformed into ‘The Metropolis’

Cambridge fights losing war with Tory terror law

The government’s controversial “Prevent” policy looks set to take the fun out of Islamic fundamentalism

XELI-NDERELLA STORY: poem exchanged for Jesus May Ball ticket

After a week of poetic pleas for a ticket, the Tab can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that first year Xelia Mendes-Jones WILL be going to the Ball.

News Roundup Week 3: Guns, Ducks, and NUS Urinal Invasions

ARMIN SOLIMANI rounds up an oh-so Oxbridge week three

CAMBREATHE: Library air being bottled and sold in China

‘Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no Cambridge air?’

FOWL PLAY: Cambridge to take on aggressive swans

Just ducking around or solving an actual problem?

BREAKING: APOCALYPSE TOWN- Power Cut across Central Cambridge

Sainsburys, Van of Life, Trinity Accommodation and swathes of the town centre are powerless

Chief Rabbi slams vice-chancellors for ignoring the “vilification of Jewish students”

Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis has criticised university vice-chancellors for ignoring issues of anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism on their campuses.

Queens’ College in hot soup over Africa Formal

“Africa isn’t yours to appropriate”

UK Government criticised in Human Rights Report over Regeni’s murder

The UK “has not been supporting the Italian authorities as forcefully as [Regeni’s] murder deserved”.

10 things I hate about Cambridge: The NUS — and it’s so much worse than you thought

Hear ye, hear ye! Here’s why we should be first in the queue to disaffiliate.

BREAKING: CUSU passes motion for NUS referendum

FINALLY we have an answer.

LIVEBLOG: CUSU Council NUS Reckoning

The NUS Referendum and the fate of TCS are about to be decided

Five John’s ‘lads’ banned from the May Ball

*Insert something witty about karma*