Manchester freshers: This is what your choice of nightclub says about you

Don’t worry, we all thought Factory was brilliant once


Whatever you’ve got planned for Freshers’ Week your club of choice will undoubtedly highlight some hidden layer of your personality. Whether you don’t even make it out after the pres, or the dulcet tones of Glue by Bicep are still ringing round your flat at six in the morning, wherever you club says a lot about you.


We’ll start close to home. You’ve been intrigued by the converted church whilst moving into halls and want to explore further. You’re after cheap drinks, chart hits and a short walk home. You’re setting yourself up to become a regular at the infamous 256 Tuesdays for the rest of the year.


It’s on everyone’s freshers wristband so your whole flat is going regardless of who’s bought which wristband. Cargo isn’t exclusive to any one type of fresher, you just have to accept everyone will go once during your first week, and then never return.


At some point during first semester, everybody thinks Factory is the best club in Manchester. You just will. Accept your fate now. From Freshers’ Week until reading week, Factory will be absolutely rammed from top to bottom. You’re constantly on the pull across three floors of R&B ‘hits’, cheesy hits and the most basic EDM playlist you can find on Spotify. Despite the huge queue, it’s your default choice for if you’re organising a flat night out as there’s something for everyone.


Lets be honest, you’re here for one thing and one thing only. You’ve Ubered down to Deansgate for last entry with your best aftershave on and one of your mates has already been turned away for having bubbles in their trainers. The only time you’re ever going to return is for a sports social night, maybe.


You clearly know what you’re doing. After passing the raucous queues for Impossible and Albertschloss, you’ve turned the corner for £1 skittlebombs, 2 for £6 blue VKs and cheap Jägerbombs. After proving you know the most indie lyrics out of all your mates, you’re already counting down the days until the first 42s all-nighter of the year.

White Hotel

You’ve clearly got a mate in second or third year and want to impress to your new friends. Wanting to show off that you can party the hardest, you take everyone who’s brave enough to a garage in Salford until the early hours. You pretend to be loving every minute of the weirdest music you’ve ever heard, whilst secretly pretending you were tucked up in bed with an episode of The Office.

Warehouse Project

You’re going big this weekend and have splurged on a WHP ticket. You’ve definitely heard of one of the DJs, maybe even two, so this is the line up for you. Word has spread and your friends from home are up, there are seven people sharing an Oak House room for the weekend and it looks like a bomb has gone off in Urban Outfitters. You go, you dance, you lose your sunglasses, but it’s all worth it for some extremely Instagramable photos and maybe even a BeReal if you’re lucky.


After not getting your first choice Uni of Bristol, you’ve decided to come to Manchester. Dressed in your best attempt at Fallow fashion, you head to Hidden after Googling “Best techno clubs in Manchester”. As the bass pulses through your veins, you feel an affiliation brewing and fail to miss a single Hidden Thursday for the entire first semester. After no time you think you can do one better and, fancying yourself a DJ, start begging everyone on MSG for a slot at XLR.

Deaf Institute

You’ve had to leave the first club of the night for whatever reason and you’re wandering the streets of Manchester at 1am. A plucky club rep comes up and leads you to the doors of Deaf Institute. Once you’ve hung around in a half empty room for 15 minutes and finished your mixer, you decide to call it a night, jump on the 142 and get a Chesters to make up for the disappointment (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything).

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