We assigned Greggs items to colleges so you don’t have to

Greggs is any Lancs student’s staple food. If you don’t end up 90 per cent Greggs by the time you graduate, then you clearly haven’t done university right. In fact, they should rename Lancaster University as Greggs University, because we spend more time in there than we do in lectures.

Whether you’re a Greggs lover or hater, you have to admit that Greggs is a core part of Lancs culture at this point (no, we actually need to be obsessed with a different food vendor). It only makes sense to integrate it further by assigning Greggs items to colleges, based on a very scientific procedure of vibes.

Bowland — Pizza slice

As one of the founding colleges, Bowland is basic and popular. Students are stereotyped as weird, and if you’re picking a pizza over a classic sausage roll, then you definitely think you’re not like other girls. Most people pick Bowland because it’s central to everything, so this laziness carries over into your tendency to end up in Greggs every day.

County — Sausage roll

Greggs’ signature item, and an absolute CLASSIC, County is definitely a sausage roll. Very popular and well-loved, County gives off sausage roll vibes. If a sausage roll threw a townhouse party, then we’d definitely be there.

Fylde — Sausage, bean and cheese melt

This decision definitely wasn’t made because Fylde is orange, and so are beans. Fylde students are stereotypically sporty, so they’d probably love that there’s a bit of protein in the sausage to get those gains. Fylde is a sausage, bean and cheese melt because they’re a bit out there, but somehow it still works.

Grizedale — Festive bake

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Arguably one of the more fun colleges, Grizedale students go all out for the festivities. Just like a Greggs festive bake, they know how to celebrate an occasion, and we love them for that. Everyone is as excited to see their Grizedale friend as they are when Greggs brings out their festive range every year.

Pendle — Vegan sausage roll

Of COURSE Pendle is one of the vegan options at Greggs. As the only college with an all-vegan cafe/bar (shout out Pendle Brew), it wouldn’t make sense to assign Pendle with a meat-based item. And, let’s be honest, half of Pendle’s students are either vegetarian or vegan, so we want to give them something they can actually eat.

Cartmel — Bacon baguette

One of the more spenny options on the menu, Cartmel gives pure bacon baguette vibes. Being so far away from north campus means they have to choose between getting a decent night’s sleep and having a nutritious breakfast, so they probably spent half their loan on Greggs’ breakfast.

Lonsdale — Vegetable bake

Lonnie is weird. I’ve never seen anyone buy a vegetable bake, but if I did, I would immediately assume they’re a Lonsdale student. This delicacy is a little bit out there, and not very popular, just like Lonsdale.

Furness — Steak bake

A little bit quirky and quiet, Furness is a steak bake. Still a classic, yet not outspoken about it like County, Furness students just wander through life, waiting for opportunities to seize them like a hungry student getting a steak bake between lectures.

Graduate — Cheese and bacon wrap

This again feels like one of the less popular items on the Greggs menu. Who chooses this unless the item you desperately want has 12 minutes left in the oven? Just like how Grad students don’t get a choice in their college, no one chooses a cheese and bacon wrap.

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