Six things you should never do as a student at King’s College London

Trust me, I’m a third year

2 months ago | UPDATED 2 weeks ago

No matter what stage of university life you’re at (from fresher to final year), it can feel like a minefield. With Freshers’ Flu, heavy workloads, and missing your family dog, it’s easy to slip up and forget the key rules which every London student should live their life by.

Luckily, The Tab wants to help you avoid learning the hard way.

So, here’s a helpful list of “don’ts” to ensure you put your best foot forward on campus.

Stare at your phone whilst you walk through Central London

This advice is two-fold, and so it should be listened to twice as hard. Especially for readers who frequent Strand and/or Waterloo campus, do not make a habit of staring at your phone as you walk around.

This is a big no-no, first of all, because you will more often than not get in someone’s way. With everyone walking a mile a minute, Londoners do not appreciate blockages on the pavement that hold up the flow of foot traffic – as you slow your pace to check whether your situationship has texted you back yet, you are indeed becoming one of those blockages.

Second, constant public phone use in London just isn’t preferable due to pickpockets and thieves. You will inevitably meet someone throughout your time at King’s who was unlucky and unaware enough to have their phone snatched out of their hand, so don’t let that person be you!

Try to take chewing gum into the club

The heartbreaking reason behind Tulisa’s transformation and why she looks so different now

Lacey and Nathan embroiled in nasty feud following ‘bitter rows’ after MAFS UK split

Emma reveals where she and Caspar are now and lots has changed since the MAFS UK reunion

Due to chewing gum’s associations with drug culture, as well as the nuisance it poses when stuck to carpet, clothes, or shoes, London clubs are particularly gum-phobic. As a naive fresher, having just moved from a city where my gum was never before confiscated, I had to learn the hard way. Take it from me, leave the gum at home.

And while you’re at it, remove the perfume that cost you hundreds of pounds from your bag – on a bad night, I’ve witnessed 100ml of liquid gold ripped from club-goers hands, and it does not set a good tone for the rest of the evening.

Wear your lanyard like its a fashion accessory

Each to their own. However, if you want to declare to the world that you’re a fresher (whether you are one or not), wearing your lanyard is the way to do it. For those not wanting to stick out like a sore, first-year shaped thumb, keeping your lanyard safe in a pocket or bag is sufficient.

Forget your King’s ID

On the flipside of wearing your ID like a necklace is forgetting it all together, a fate that is also less than ideal. Not only will you be treated like a common criminal by security as you sign in, you will have to spend the rest of the day walking around wearing a bright-white sticker. Anyone who has had to wear one of these student stickers knows that it feels as if it’s intentionally designed to shame you, putting on display to the rest of the student body that you’re the idiot who left their ID at home.

Do not overdo it at pre-drinks!

Though they do an important job, London club bouncers are notoriously strict and can often feel like public enemy number one. At home, you might be used to getting into your local club after drinking three bottles of wine, but the same may not apply to your favourite London venue. Bouncers can and will turn you away for looking too intoxicated, so know your limits and take it easy at pres – no one wants to be the friend who gets the whole group turned away.

Have a GB romance

Though I’ve steered clear of this one throughout my King’s career, I have witnessed many a disastrous Guy’s Bar fling. If you lock eyes with a sweaty rugby boy across the GB dance floor and really want to go for it, don’t let me stop you. Here at The Tab we operate on a judgement-free basis. However, when you rock up to your 9am feeling worse for wear and half the people in the room saw your dance-floor kiss, you might not feel like it was worth it anymore. Also, you’ll get tonsillitis. Seriously.