Here’s exactly what your choice of supermarket says about you as an Exeter Uni student
‘Rah, where are you spending your Trust Fund?’
Whether you’re going out just to grab a few items, a sweet treat or doing your weekly food shop, the supermarket you go to tells everyone a LOT about you. Most of you go to the places that other unis would expect us to go to – cough, M&S, so thanks for that: Even Exeter knows what students want, which is why they have built three of them in the city. You can reach an M&S regardless of your mode of transport! Every time you leave your house, you can end up bumping into someone you know, so it’s important that you consider how your place of food shop is impacting your appearance. I mean, you have to think, does where you shop make you “better” than the rest of us? Let’s see:
Ah yes, let’s start with what defines all the stereotypes of the average Exeter student: Waitrose. Stressed about an essay? Go to Waitrose. Missing home? Go to Waitrose. Need somewhere to park up your Fiat 500? I mean, need I say more? You are the stereotype: You fuel the TikTok conspiracies, but we love you. Where else are you going to get smoked salmon for your bagels?
They have very imaginative deals at Waitrose, and they have beautiful meals for one. Waitrose can get you some items that other shops just cannot fathom. This is the first place you want to go to when your parents visit to enjoy all of the fantastical recipes that Heston cooks up, and this is the first place your parents want to take you when they visit. If you shop at Waitrose I can do nothing but praise you, jealousy does not even come into play because you are just the person we all want to be.
This is arguably the most on-brand Exeter student shop. I know, I said it. You know the stereotypes, but you chose to live in denial of them. M&S is already your favourite place to visit to reconnect with civilisation after you’ve been to TP, so the walls feel like home to you. You are probably an elite person if you shop here though, you know the good deals and how to make this a cheaper food shop than its rivals. Your Sparks card will unleash a lot of tricks to keep your shop in budget and even your lazy ready meals become gourmet. Everyone in the library will be jealous of you when you take out your M&S sandwich, none the wiser that you got it reduced!
If your friend has a birthday, you know where they are expecting you to go: M&S, duh, to grab a Colin the Caterpillar cake. Not only are you going there for your weekly shop, but as an Exeter student it is your right of passage to get picky bits from M&S for a picnic at the Cathedral or a feast at Exmouth. You will find yourself talking about it everyday, because it is always topical. Nothing can beat M&S, sometimes all that can answer your prayers is a Percy Pig.
You either own a car, or you are so dedicated to Aldi that you get the train to St Thomas. For the price of £1.30 you think Aldi is worth this voyage, and I still to this day cannot tell you if it is or not. Yes, you save money, but is it worth carrying all your bags on a long trek home? If you have a car in Exeter, I can guarantee you will be taking your housemates there once a week, and you will never be able to escape that.
The overstimulation that is felt in Aldi is not for the weak. You need to be ready, on it, and quick. We all know that you are put together, you have meal planned and budgeted for that week, we get it. I know that you make overnight oats and your freezer and fridge shelf are stocked to the brim. Your food shop takes less than 10 minutes out of your day because you go in with a list, and a plan. I cannot fault you or your smart ways. If you’re a gym rat, you are going to Aldi so that you can meal prep your 98 meals to bring out in the Forum library. None of us have ever seen you prepare any of this food, but we have seen you consume it, at speed.
You own a Clubcard.
You are smart about your time: If you are wondering around town, you pop into Sainsbury’s to grab some stuff. This is convenient, it’s a nice vibe and quiet. If you shop at Sainsbury’s, you are disciplined and civilised. Or, you are a fresher. Those aisles are small, so you know exactly what you need before entering and I know that you cook up a storm every night. You buy ingredients, and you buy spices, like you know how to actually cook. You enjoy browsing the fresh fruit and veg aisles and probably grab a nice stir fry dish.
I cannot tell you the reasons behind it but I know if you are hosting a cheese board night, you are going to Sainsbury’s. There is just a natural pull that your Exeter mind has to this location to get your assortments of cheeses and charcuterie. And, where would an Exeter student be without a cheese and wine night?
You have a car but you’re saving fuel. You offer to drive your housemates, but it isn’t exactly that much of a lifesaver seeing as they live round the corner anyway. You could spend hours in Morrisons: It’s huge and truly a hidden gem. The pizza station, the meal deals, the flowers, there really is so much to offer and you need not overlook it: You know something that we don’t.
This is where you want to go for your late night sweet treat at the end of an evening in your lounge. You offer your housemates a hot girl walk, and Morrisons is your location of choice. The air is fresh here and you think you are different to the rest of us. Avocado is also a particularly good steal, and if you attend this Exeter Uni, it is necessary to prepare this smashed avo on toast cuisine multiple times a week by just popping into Morrisons.
You don’t want to walk into town, but you need your basics. You scare me a little. Where are you putting this food – is it just in your tote bag or is it going on your Macbook? You have nothing in your fridge and you’re willing to take the hit of those university prices. You are clawing on hunger and walking is your enemy. You’re already procrastinating your essay, and it just gets too much. We have all done it. If you buy things from the freezers though, we need to talk, because how are you transporting these items? We all know that you are lazy, but you are confident with it, especially if we see you walking from your accommodation in your dressing gown.
You are lazy (I am jealous of you).