Love Island 2023 RIP

RIP Love Island 2023: You started with a bang, you’re ending with a whimper

This last week has been a slog

Was I excited for Love Island 2023? Absolutely not. I started this season with the biggest eye roll the owner of a pair of eyeballs could possibly muster. I truly could not be arsed. Love Island fatigue, Drag Race fatigue – it feels never-ending, shows just desperately trying to cram as many seasons as possible into a calendar year. How refreshing it was then for Love Island 2023 to kick right off so promisingly. I would go as far to say it’s the best season the show’s ever had up until Casa Amor – decent drama and a really well put together cast that you genuinely root for. But how the mighty hath fallen – RIP Love Island 2023, you started with a big crash, bang and a wallop and you’re ending with a timid whimper. But where did it all go wrong?

The vibes have gone stale

Picture the scene: It’s Ne-Yo night. Ne-Yo night, I wholeheartedly believe, was the last great episode of Love Island 2023. We were on an absolute high. Kady was refusing to neck off with Zach. Scott and Catherine were thriving. I can’t remember what Mitchel was doing, but there was nary an Abi or an Ella B in the equation so I can assume it was simply halcyon days. All that’s happened since Casa Amor has been evil. Where are the laughs? Where are the hijinks? In the immortal words of Jamie Lee Curtis, we’ve simply been left with rage and trauma.

The Molly Marsh twist flopped

I fear that ITV really felt like they were doing something when they revealed their hand, their big twist that everyone was gossiping and suspecting anyway: Molly Marsh was returning for Casa Amor. Of course, she’d been dramatically dumped a few days prior thanks to Kady returning from season two and stealing Zach.

When Molly Marsh returned, Zach was a bit shocked. But that was it. In the dramatic Casa Amor recoupling, Molly had to basically get up and wave in the girls’ faces to get them to clock she’d come back. Since then, me and you have had more airtime than her and Zach. They’re just sort of… there. The least dramatic return on record. What was the point?


The girlies we loved have made hellish decisions

Apart from the ever reliable Whitney choosing Lochan – a genuinely nice guy, I want them to win – the ones we love have made chaotic choices. Ella caused friction with Tyrique for entertaining the Ouzy dalliance. The two have rectified it but are now arguing once again, which doesn’t bode well because the two are incapable of having a small argument and only have ones where they seem on the cusp of breaking up.

Jess has once again gone back to the evil, evil Sammy for reasons that remain unclear. I get they have chemistry and she likes him but she’s so much better than his slime ways that I can’t abide to see it any longer. Free Jess.

And worst of them all… Catherine. Obviously now dumped after a hell week of Love Island with the utterly boring Elom, Catherine recoupled in Casa Amor and left Scott behind. Her error here being how much viewers love Scott – and seeing it has just been such a shame. They were one of the best couples to root for, and now she’s gone.

Viewers are voting for individuals

You could see how shocked the Islanders were at the last recoupling that Scott and Amber – a friendship couple of convenience at the time – were not even in the bottom FOUR couples up for a dumping. This is because fans wanted to let the Islanders know that they thought Scott was in the right. Whilst I echo the sentiment, this is the real nail in the coffin for an RIP Love Island 2023 sentiment, because nobody knows whether they’re coming or going.

Should Amber be blagging her way through when she’s got no romantic connections? No. Chaos is reigning and not in a fun way. Worse still, the show is just getting boring. Even the drama is squashed fast. When the show salivated over the chance to give viewers the ‘Battle of the Ellas’, Ella Thomas maturely and correctly refused to engage.

Let’s just skip forward to the talent show episode, give Whitney and Lochan 50k, and then bin it off now. For all our sakes. RIP Love Island 2023 – you were a gorgeous girly at the start, but now you’re a nemesis.

Love Island 2023 is on ITV2 and ITVX. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. 

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