Every song on the Barbie movie album, ranked from worst to best

Greta Gerwig has committed herself not only to making what is surely going to be the greatest film events of our lifetime with Barbie, she’s also committed herself (with the help of Mark Ronson) to making a soundtrack album that is going to change pop music forever. The list of artists included in the Barbie soundtrack album is jaw dropping – a who’s who of pop girlies that has all eyes on it. Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift sitting alongside Nicki Minaj, PinkPantheress and Charli XCX? Come on now. Now it’s officially Barbenheimer weekend – the album is out. The reviews are … middling, to say the least – but here are all the songs on the Barbie movie album ranked from worst to best anyway.

17. The Kid LAROI – Forever & Again

The first and last song I ever hope to hear by this man.

16. Lizzo – Pink

I’ve really started to have a bellyful of Lizzo’s overlay chirpy anthems of self love as it is, but this one reaches new depths of sickly and annoying and I was hoping for a lot better. A bleak way to kick the album off.

15. Dominic Fike – Hey Blondie

I’ve actually been vibing a lot with Dominic Fike’s music of recent – I never watched Euphoria so have no relationship to him as an actor, but I’ve enjoyed tracks like Mona Lisa and Ant Pile a great deal. Sadly, Hey Blondie comes nowhere close to the other bangers in his catalogue and is a real tepid lowlight of Ken content here.

14. GAYLE – butterflies

Make no mistake, this is bad – but considering the usual shite GAYLE puts is through it’s actually a bit better than what you might expect.

13. Billie Eilish – What Was I Made For?

It really pains me to say this as someone who has been a vocal fan of Billie Eilish since 2017, and who ranked her 2021 record Happier Than Ever as the best of that year, but I would go as far to say this ballad for the Barbie soundtrack album is the most boring thing she’s ever done. A really generic musing on life that parallels I assume with Barbie’s existential crisis. It does at least come with a nice music video that sees Billie holding up little Barbie sized versions of outfits from her career, but I’d say this is the worst out of the good songs on this album.

12. FIFTY FIFTY and Kaliii – Barbie Dreams

Kpop group FIFTY FIFTY here with a song that sounds like it’s taken from a Barbie telly advert in 2002 – for better or for worse. It’s fun and high energy but on the sickly side for me. Kaliii verse goes pretty hard though.

11. Tame Impala – Journey To The Real World

Arguably the least Barbie suited artist in this bunch, Kevin Parker rolls up to give a short but sweet one minute thirty interlude track that I think could potentially be a top five contender if it was a bit longer. Gorgeously produced, but what else did you expect?

10. KAROL G and Aldo Ranks – WATATI

The most underrated and overlooked of all the Barbie movie songs ranked, KAROL G’s latin banger is a slay by all means – even if the Aldo Ranks verse is a bit of a slog. I do wholeheartedly feel like this one is underrated but I don’t think it does enough to stand out amongst the bigger and bolder bangers in the mix – but a good way to kick off the top 10. A bit slept on considering it was the second single.

9. Khalid – Silver Platter

I find Khalid’s music so middling normally, so what a pleasant delight Silver Platter actually is. Lushly produced, coolly delivered and just overall a chic little banger with a good strut to it. Summer vibes on lock.

8. Ava Max – Choose Your Fighter

Yeah, yeah – it’s Kings and Queens with a different blonde leggy skin on it. But I don’t care. The Max never fails giving us her little brand of generic pop perfection and this is exactly what Choose Your Fighter is. The generic, manufactured pop sound to Ava’s music sings in perfect harmony with the fact this is a world centred around a mass produced plastic doll. I love it.

7. Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice – Barbie World

A song so short it feels like you’ve just turned it on halfway through, the much hyped Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice collab that features a heavy sampling of Aqua’s most famous contribution to the culture – Barbie Girl. I was cold on this when it first came out considering how fast it’s over before it begins, but I’ve warmed to it a lot. It does the job. Assignments were understood.

6. Haim – Home

I can always rely on my Haim sisters to give me perfection, and that’s what this is. Taylor Swift chooses her besties carefully, and you know she’s only surrounded by music excellence. Danielle’s voice instantly just hits – Haim have this knack of making you feel like you’ve known their songs all your life. One of the best produced and coolest tracks ranked alongside the other Barbie movie songs here.

5. Sam Smith – Man I Am

The world let out a collective groan when the surprise final artist announced for the Barbie album was not Taylor Swift, not Britney Spears, but… Sam Smith. Nothing against Sam, but they hardly deserve the level of mystique and hype put on by Mark Ronson in the build up. Nonetheless, the song is an absolute breath of fresh air – a camp, faux masculinity anthem boasting about not being gay bro and giving it Pet Shop Boys verse swagger. Love it.

4. Dua Lipa – Dance The Night

An obvious choice for the Barbie movie soundtrack lead single, Dua Lipa does what she does best on Dance The Night – nu-disco, handclaps, grooves of the highest order. The only issue with Dance The Night is how much it sounds like the entire Future Nostalgia era, which leaves the track feeling like it’s a b side she had lying around and didn’t bother shoving on a Moonlight edition. I was underwhelmed on my first listen, but it’s a pleasant little bop that understands the assignment even if it doesn’t reinvent the wheels of the Barbie Dream Car.

3. Ryan Gosling – I’m Just Ken

Every great movie needs its torch song musical number, and in storms Ryan Gosling with I’m Just Ken. The song was written by Mark Ronson as a semi joke, but Gerwig loved it so much she rewrote some of the script to add it in for Ryan Gosling to perform. You thought you’d heard it all when the Barbie socials accounts tweeted the first half of it, but I’m Just Ken descends into madness and if this doesn’t win Best Original Song at the Academy Awards I’ll riot down Barbieland high street myself.

2. Charli XCX – Speed Drive

The latest release of the Barbie movie songs ranked here is also the latest addition to the Charli XCX singing songs about cars catalogue, and like the rest of the bangers in that genre it absolutely SLAPS. Charli brings to the Barbie table her usual brand of bratty, synthy pop with verses full of attitude that only she can do. Not one artist in pop could make a song like this, and that’s what makes her consistently so exciting. It’s over before you want it to be, but that just makes you hit the replay button harder – and the Hey Mickey interpolation is perfection.

1. PinkPantheress – Angel

I’m trying not to be hyperbolic, but I think PinkPantheress is going to be the artist who will define the 2020s in terms of her influence, individuality and artistry. Since she blew up, she has not stopped steadily releasing exciting, interesting and honestly just plain weird tracks that have crossed over into the mainstream. Angel is her at her best – a delicate vocal combined with UK garage beats that meet The Corrs-esque Irish strings? Bloodpop production and PinkPantheress energy is a match made in heaven. What a track.

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