17 questions I urgently need answering about Dead to Me so I can get on with my life

No seriously, who calls their child Bambi?


Dead to Me is Netflix's latest binge series. It follows a widow called Jen who is on the hunt to figure out who killed her husband Ted in a hit-and-run car accident. Jen meets Judy at a grief support group. They become best friends, and Judy helps Jen find out who killed Ted.

If you haven't watched Dead to Me yet, you probably think the storyline sounds tepid, but it's honestly the best show on Netflix since You. Here's the evidence:

There's murder, female friendship and every episode has a twist and turn that makes Game of Thrones look weak. It's so fucking funny. But with any murder mystery there are some major questions I need to be answered before I can start sleeping properly again at night. Spoilers ahead.

1. Why does Judy always say "it's okay" immediately after Steve says "I'm sorry"?

This happens several times across the 10 episodes so it has to mean something significant to their relationship. Judy never reflects on what Steve's sorry about (usually something fuckboy-ish and not worthy of forgiveness), she says it in automatic mode. Have they had previous therapy, or has Steve brainwashed Judy?? Some people think it's a sign of Steve being abusive within their relationship. After all, he does fuck with her head the entire series.

2. Nick's real nice and all, but did he shoot his best friend?

Remember when he took the gun out of Charlie's bag and said his best friend died from someone accidentally shooting him. What if that person was Nick??? Detective Perez gets him to admit he's on leave for "psychiatric" reasons AND when Perez asks if it was voluntary HE DOESN'T ANSWER.

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I rest my case1!!!!

3. Why does Jen continue to back up Ted after finding out he cheated for nearly two years???

Surely after finding out your husband likes exchanging details about his dick to a girl on some World of Warcraft gaming site and then meeting said 20-something year old girl you would be like actually detective, burn the file, this case is closed on the grounds of IDGAF.

4. Also who calls their child Bambi?

It's a very sad film, why call your daughter that.

5. Steve was shot in the back, so who shot Steve???

Steve was facing Jen in his final moments, but the final shot of Jen and Judy shows Steve face down in the pool, meaning he could've been shot in the back. Also there's no visible gun shot wound to his front. So who was behind Steve? Charlie sneaked back into the house hours before Steve showed up, and let's not forget he's already handled a gun with the safety off before…

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Where is the gun shot wound!

6. But if it wasn't Charlie, how did he and Henry not wake up after hearing the gunshot

Seriously Jen and Judy have a lot on their hands: cleaning up a dead body from a pool, making sure Charlie and Henry don't see, or any of her neighbours like the one who made that casserole with raisins in. I hope Jen has a pool cover to hand.

7. Who needs THAT much home security??

And anyway who is Jen protecting her kids from? Judy only ran over her Ted and failed to tell Jen and once called Steve like 100 times. Is it worth getting your entire house wired up with some Apple Watch looking cameras? Feels excessive.

8. Judy's dress in the hospital crying scene is very similar to the one she wears when she kills Ted – coincidence??

Some watchers thought it was the exact same dress and therefore thought the crash and miscarriage could've happened on the same night – as in crashing into Ted caused her fifth miscarriage. But her dress in the hospital was floor-length, whereas her crash outfit was knee-length.

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9. Okay hear me out here, but what if Steve was driving the car when Ted was hit, not Judy?

Think about it. Steve has complete control over Judy. He manipulates and gaslights her into thinking she's always the one in the wrong, that it's her fault they can't have children, her fault why their relationship breaks down and her fault for killing Ted. But what if it's all bullshit and he's got it into her head that she was the one driving, not him!!

10. Ted has so many pairs of running shoes. Is that normal?

More of a personal question than a theory.


11. Why did Abe have to die?

12. Wait…what does Ted even look like??

Apart from a photo frame and some police pics of him looking all bloody post-crash, we don't know what he looks like. Instead we're just told what he did and his hobbies.

13. Why would Judy suggest Jen get a storage space at the same site as hers?

It was literally like four doors down!!! It's like she's ASKING to be caught.

14. Are Pastor Wayne and Jen going to fuck?

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Those bedroom eyes

There is some unresolved sexual tension and on the retreat I genuinely saw that plot twist coming.

15. Call me dumb but why would Judy confessing to the police not warrant an arrest?

If you know the answer to this please get in touch.

16. Simply how does Judy LIVE WITH HERSELF

Think of how much wine Jen and Judy drink by the pool watching that TV programme. Surely three wines down when you start slurring your words and one eye starts going the other way Judy would've been like "Jen I killed your husband don't tell anyone!" Either she is a heavy weight or that is inaccurate writing.

17. Who is buying Judy's art?

I would grade it a B at GCSE.

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